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I Made it to Half a Century...

February 12th, 2020 at 09:10 pm

...but I woke up with this awful chest cough that set in in the middle of the night. Guess DH and I won't be going out to celebrate after all. But I bought ribeyes a couple of days ago on sale, and DS will cook them, throw baked potatoes in the instant pot, and open a can of green beans to nuke, so I will still get my dinner cooked by someone else, which is all I really wanted. I might have to eat it in bed, but so be it. And DS is making these really good gluten free brownies instead of cake.

Today Things Were Easier (For Me Anyway)

February 12th, 2020 at 03:59 am

Things are going a lot better with my mom today. I am hoping that means the end of all the horrible, emotionally and physically exhausting days! She apologized for being so cranky and for taking me for granted. That was nice to hear, but honestly I am so used to it now I simply vent here and move on.

I took DD to physical therapy and then I went to take a three page approval thing my insurance needs to my rheumatologist's office to have them fill out and fax in, but no one was there. There was an open sign on the door and it was office hours, but the office was dark and locked. I'll call tomorrow and make sure someone is there.

Then I went over to the foot and ankle clinic which is just across the parking lot to try to get an itemized receipt for the down payment for the orthotics that the FSA wanted (it had one thing missing from the receipt I had), but the bookkeeper had just stepped out, so the receptionist left a detailed note and she was to print it out when she came back so that I could have it in the morning. So that's another trip to the two doctor's offices tomorrow, but I have nothing else on the agenda.

DD had a very tough time at PT today. The pool has a limit of four people in it at once and she had a scheduled therapy session, but they also have drop in hours for people who have finished therapy but pay an extra fee each month to come in, but they have to get out if a session is scheduled and it is overlimit. Well, at one point there were seven other people in the pool (all women between 60 and 80, they actually said their ages in the course of their conversation) besides DD and her assistant therapist. She was getting crowded back into a corner even though she was on one of the underwater treadmills. She came close to having a panic attack. She has a hard time speaking up for herself due to her panic disorder.

I guess the therapist didn't speak up at all to tell the extra women to get out of the pool, either. My daughter had a hard time even hearing because the other women were being so loud. The therapist did tell them to get back a couple of times, but they crowded in again. DD felt cornered. According to DD they were making statements that were racist, homophobic, transphobic, as well as nasty talk about young people and entitlement while shooting dirty looks at her (they really didn't like having to move for a young person), and vicious political talk (not sure which side, don't care) all at top volume. DD has a very short haircut (her hair actually hurts her when it is over an inch long) and a very androgynous appearance due to her body type and the swollen steroid face so I am sure they were making assumptions. It has happened on more occasions than I can count and she has been mistaken for a boy wearing girl's clothes as well.

It was inappropriate talk for where they were. As much as I support freedom of speech there is a time and a place to show your nastiness and a medical facility where people are in pain is not that place. You need to be conscious of other people, especially in a place that echoes every word said like the pool area. I seriously can't believe people talk that way in public. What happened to kindness and behaving yourself in public?

When she came out and told me about it on the way home, I called and reported it. I didn't act mad, just wanted them to know what had happened. I'm not usually one to rock the boat, but I will stand up for myself and my kids strongly in situations like this. The woman I reported it to said I should also call the head of the physical therapy department and tell him everything I told her and that what happened to her today was not okay. I left a voice mail and supposedly I should hear back tomorrow. We'll see.

Hopefully they have a way of tracking the women. I'm sure there is a sign in sheet or check in or something. Then they can talk to them and tell them not to act that way there in the future. Whether they will listen or not is up to them, but I do believe they should at least be spoken to. If I had been there, I would have said something directly. More importantly, I hope it will at least result in an enforcement of the pool limit. If there had only been the two other people in there with them like there was supposed to be, I don't think they would have gotten so out of hand.

Rough Week Catch Up

February 11th, 2020 at 06:53 am

It has been a rough week. Mom had her surgery last Tuesday and they sent her home Wednesday night. It was far too early for them to send her home. Not only was she incoherent, she was combative, and couldn't walk without starting to fall over. I about yanked my shoulder out of the socket catching her from falling.

Unfortunately they did not take me seriously at the hospital the night before when I told them how bad it would be if they sent her home early. If there is a next time I am going to the pre-op appointment and making it very clear that this is not okay. This has happened every time, it is just a little better if she is in the hospital those first three days.

She was also trying to manipulate everyone into giving her too many pills. Not the painkillers, but her diazepam (which is Valium). She took 6 in one day by getting my husband and son to give her two (that's her dose) when I had already given her two. She was beyond incoherent that day. I instituted a write down everything time and date pad so that can't happen again. I had asked DH to do that from the start, but he had not (I was still in massive pain, so didn't do it myself at that point).

She did not regain her ability to speak in complete sentences until yesterday. She's still a little slow, but at least now she is making sense most of the time, about 80 percent, which is where she normally is nowadays. She was able to walk without help on Saturday.

DH did take off Thursday and Friday, but he had to go back to work today. There is overtime being offered again this week (he couldn't get any last week because of helping me with Mom and needing take sick leave). It wasn't an easy day as she wanted a shower, which took an hour to do, but she was very cooperative. It is just hard to give a shower to someone else, even with a bench seat and a detachable sprayer. Easier than without one. She needed it though. It had been a week (she had to wait that long).

She still isn't wanting to eat much, but I got her to eat Jello (3 times) and a cheeseburger (she had some frozen) and some milk. Not the best of nutrition, but it is better than nothing.

I am starting to feel better now that I had an Embrel shot again. It was getting really bad with the pain without it. If I had any doubt it was helping before this, it is totally gone now. Things still aren't worked out completely with my shots, but on Thursday the doctor gave me two shots to take home, so I took one that day and I have one more, and if it takes longer than that to get my prescription moving, than I can get more. According to my doctor, everything has been approved with the new insurance since last week, but I have not heard anything from the pharmacy yet about the shot.

DH is going to see if he can't move things along for me as I don't have time to be on the phone right now between taking care of Mom and shuttling DD to appointments. I can get more samples if I need to, but I sure wish they would have told me that before I went 4 weeks without.

I am still not sure if we will be able to leave Mom long enough on Wednesday for DH and me to go out for my birthday, but I hope so. I so need to get away for a couple of hours and just not have to focus on anyone else.

Mom's Surgery and Other Stuff

February 5th, 2020 at 06:01 am

Mom made it through surgery with flying colors as she always does. I went up and saw her for about half an hour and she was eating and alert. I didn't stay longer, though, because she was very tired. She wasn't in any pain because the nerve block hadn't worn off yet. I'm sure tomorrow will be a lot harder.

It snowed today for about 4 hours. Ugh. Now it is sleeting though, so I am sure it will be gone by morning. At least I hope so.

I made it about halfway through the SOTU speech, but will save the rest for tomorrow. I'm going to hit the bed early tonight. I've never actually listened to one of these before for any president. Dude can talk. Watched a bit of the senate today, too. Dudes can talk. Lots of talk, talk, talk.

The last week was hard on retirement, but the IRA has almost completely rebounded this week and I'm still ahead on the 401K, so the total balance is still higher than it was the last time I reported in, but I probably won't put the balance until after the addition of payday, which is Friday, so won't see it hit until Monday. I hope it keeps going back up.

I need to get bread baked tomorrow. And maybe hamburger buns, too. I also have to take DD to the neurologist. It's just for her 3 month migraine check. Her meds aren't quite cutting it, so we may have to adjust. One of these days we'll get it right. We have a lot of appointments this week and Mom will be coming home during some point. DH is working late again tonight. It's 10 p.m. and he is still there. He doesn't want to take more sick leave than he has to.

Glad January is Over

February 3rd, 2020 at 05:58 am

January was a tough month and I am happy to see the back of it. I still don't have my Embrel shots coming because of the doctor's office dropping the ball, so I've had a lot of pain for the month of Jan. I lost 12 pounds, I had a nasty stomach virus and a nasty sinus infection, not at the same time, went off gluten, and I tried to do an eat from the pantry challenge and mostly succeeded. I did buy a few things, but most of the money I saved went into buying bulk meat for the freezer, $3.49/lb chuck roast and $1.99/lb boneless skinless chicken thighs. Tonight we are getting takeout for the first time in ages.

My mom's surgery is on the fourth and we are hoping they will keep her in the hospital until Friday, but she might be coming home sooner than that. DH is taking some sick leave, but the bulk of taking care of Mom will still fall on me and my son. This should be her last surgery. I did locate my power of attorney, her living will, and the actual will a couple of weeks ago, so I have all the paperwork I need should something go wrong. She also added me to her bank account so I can do that if needed.

I am not looking forward to February either, although I will have some time off on the 12th as DH and I are going out to dinner for my 50th birthday. I really wish I was on my shot. This is just going to be such an overwhelming time for me and to have it be in pain because I don't have my meds is just stressing me out.

We've got our vacation set up for mid-March for our 25th wedding anniversary now and I will likely need it very much after caring for Mom and shuttling her around everywhere. She will be allowed to drive by then so will be able to do for herself again at that point.

I know I just need to take a deep breath and calm down and make sure that whatever I do during this month that I make an effort to do my exercises, try to find time to destress, and continue to eat as healthy as I can. Oh, and get good sleep. Last time my mom had surgery it ended up with me falling off the good eating wagon and I gained back all the weight I had lost. I do not want that to happen again. I worked hard to be here and I want to keep seeing the scale going down. It's going to take a lot of focus. Hopefully I can maintain that.

USPS Lies

January 14th, 2020 at 02:35 am

I hate it when USPS flat out lies about attempting to deliver a package. Got an email 10 minutes after their supposed attempt to deliver. There are five people at home. Our road is free of ice. The driveway and sidewalk are shoveled. There was one person sitting in the room attached to the front door. The front curtains were still opened and you could see the person who was sitting there. It was obvious people were home from the three vehicles in the driveway. The door bell never rang and no one knocked. No attempt was made to deliver this package. This is not the first time this has happened, either. I hate when stuff comes by USPS because they are just such liars. I know the truth. They over-committed someone to deliver and had too much stuff and ran out of time. It's like they think we are stupid.

My Sister Might Move In

November 25th, 2019 at 09:36 am

My sister (who is 61, I'm 11 1/2 years younger) hurt herself on the job a while back and can no longer lift the elderly out of their beds or help load them into vehicles for transport. Right now she's going through a thing where the doctor evaluates her for whether or not she can resume this duty or not. Sister says not. If the doctor says she can and they make her, her condition is going to get worse. This is one of those work claim doctors, not one that you know and trust, and those always seem to be slanted towards the employer and not the employee.

If she can't do the job anymore, she'll be let go, in which case she will have to move in here. She'll be okay when she turns 62 next September and can start drawing social security, but until then, things will be difficult. Even a job at McDonald's requires you to lift 40 pounds.

So we have started cleaning out the upstairs. There are two rooms up there, plus a storage room, and two closets, and they are pretty roomy, but they are chock full of junk. The goal is to get one room cleaned out more quickly so if she suddenly can't make rent she has somewhere to go, and then work a little more slowly on the other one. They need to be cleaned out anyway. Mom has a lot of junk up there that she just doesn't need. Extra furniture and just boxes full of junk and stuff she has been storing for my niece and my nephew that should have gone to their homes long ago as they are 38 and 40 respectively.

But there's also a lot of stuff from my grandma who died when I was 27. And there's still a lot of my dad's old clothes and he's been gone for years. And by old, I don't even mean the clothes he wore, I mean clothes from when he was in high school or young adulthood (like suits) that he wouldn't have even been able to get into for a couple of decades before he died. There are also dresses my mom has from when I was a kid that she would have to lose 100 pounds to wear and are hopelessly outdated. I know where I get the pack rat gene from.

I think, honestly, that my sister might move in when she retires anyway. Which is good, because it means when we move out, Mom won't be alone. I really don't think she should be alone anymore. She says she's fine, but she's not. She's forgetful. Not dementia, yet, but sometimes she makes me wonder. She's mostly careless forgetful.

I don't know if sister will contribute to expenses or not, but I don't really care. Even if she is still working her income is not great. Above minimum wage by a few dollars. We don't mind covering that if that is what she needs. You take care of family, you know? I know they will go up if she lives here, though, because the upstairs isn't serviced by the gas furnace and she would have to use electric heat during the cold months, which are many here.

She's easy enough to get along with and she and Mom get on well, so I think it would be good for both of them if she comes.

JAMES! Issues with the Site Related to Norton Saying it is Dangerous

November 8th, 2019 at 11:47 pm

For the last 24 hours Norton wouldn't even show me this site existed, then when it showed the website again it blocked it, calling it dangerous. I finally had to go in and turn off the safe search to not have the message come up every time I tried to go to a new page and to post. I tried to go to the forums, but it won't let me post there at all. The new topic button does nothing when I push on it.

Norton is saying the threat from here is phishing and that the owners have to do something about it before they will relist it as a safe site, but I can't even contact them because the new topic thread won't open for me, nor the contact info. Is this happening to anyone else who has Norton? It seems like many of you were able to post just fine yesterday. Can someone contact James with this info? I am hoping he will see this post, but he doesn't always see the blogs.