Both the 401K and the IRA were up substantially from the last time I checked.  New amounts are below:

$153,554.59 401K

+_15,225.66 IRA

-------------------

$168,780.25 New Retirement Total

-160,553.96 Old Retirement Total

-------------------

$__8,226.29 Total Gain to Retirement

The Emergency Fund got to small deposits.  One was $2.32 at the beginning of the month in interest.  The other was what was left at the end of payday one for May after paying all the bills, which was $87.69, giving a grand total of $90.01.

$11,009.23 Previous EF Amount

+__,+90.01 Total Added

---------------------

$11,099.24 New EF Amount

If I'd realized ahead of time that the interest would have brought it so close to ten dollars I would have brought along 76 cents to make it an even $10 in the total.  I have the coins in my coin jar.  Oh, well.

So next I add the EF gain and the retirement gain to figure out the net worth gain.

$8,226.29 Retirement Gain

+_,_90.01 EF Gain

----------------------

$8,316.30 Total Gain to Net Worth

So then we calculate:

$256,316.02 Previous Net Worth

+__8,316.30 Gain to Net Worth

---------------------

$264,632.32 New Net Worth

So things are going pretty well, as you can see.  I do have $100 from last payday that I do plan to add to the Emergency Fund, I just haven't gotten around to it yet, because I accidentally took it out in cash and I haven't had a chance to get back to the credit union yet.  But I have time on Monday after I drop my son off for his therapy appointment, since his dad picks him up after work.  The credit union is 3 blocks from the therapy office, at least for the next 2 visits.

It'll be a while before I can really start socking things to the EF and I might actually have to take some money out.  The van has started to make some funny noises.  Now I have $1000 saved in the car maintenance fund and I add $100 to it every month, but I don't know if that is going to be enough if this turns out to be serious.  We just hit 67,000 miles, but the van is 13 years old.  In fact we bought it new on June 4th, so really 13 years old.  Hopefully, it turns out to be something that can be handled with the money we already have save in the car fund, though.

And hopefully whe we get the estimate for the bathroom it'll be for less than what we have saved so that if there are any overruns we have enough without dipping into the EF or having to compromise on what we want.  Once all that is done, though, we can sock it to the EF and get things where I want them and possibly fund a spousal IRA for me this year.  While I'd like to raise the 401K to 20%, I have no retirement savings in my own name and I don't like that.  I have complete trust in my marriage, but I still want some in my own name. 

I won't even get SSI in my own name, because I only worked for nine years.  Which isn't true, but the farmers apparently paid us under the table when I was a kid so nothing I earned then was reported to the government.  Not that I made enough to pay taxes, my best summer I only made $1500 and that was at 3 different farms following strawberries, then raspberries, then blueberries.  I mean, I will get it in his name, and his would be higher than mine anyway, but that's not the point.  And that's assuming there is SSI when I get there.  So, yes, I want a Roth IRA in my name.  Then if we fully fund it, we can raise his 401K after that.

I am hoping in July he will get a cost of living raise.  They have been doing this as inflation has gone crazy for the last 3 years and this 4th year should be no different.  I hope.  I don't know that he would get a regular raise, because the raise he got the last time he got one was so big a leap.  That was two years ago.  As much as I'd like one, I just don't think they have it right now.  They hired a lot of people in the last year.

But a COL would be appreciated.  2% is still $3180 before taxes, probably $2500 net a year after.  $104.16 a payday.  $2500 is almost our full medical deductible of $3000.  So that is nothing to sneeze at.  And sometimes it is 3% which is $4770, or around $4200 a year or $161.53 a payday.  Nothing to sneeze at.  But if there is nothing there is nothing.  We will know sometime in July which is always when raises come out.  The company has had high profits this year and last, but that didn't come out to much when it came to the Christmas bonus, so not really counting on it here, either.  Just wanting it to have some more breathing room after saving so hard for that stupid bathroom since February of last year.

I feel like I haven't had a moment to breathe this week.  There has been an appointment every day and there is one tomorrow.  So far they have been one's where we have been kept waiting twenty to forty-five minutes past the scheduled appointment time and then the appointment seemed to run long.  Except my therapy appointment, which was on time.  And boy did I need that.  It's been cancelled 3 times and it has been six weeks when I usually go every two weeks.  Her brother died, then she was sick, then I got stung by a bee on my lip and swelled up really bad.  My allergy has gotten progressively worse and I have to have an epi pen available, but at least insurance covers it.

I did get my tomatoes planted on the weekend, though.  I got two different varieties of Roma tomatoes, 4 of each, then 3 Lemon Boys (yellow rounds ones), 3 Champions (round ones), 1 Million Pears (yellow pear shaped cherry/grape cross), and 1 green zebra.  I wasn't going to get a tomato variety just for fun this year, but the green zebra is prolific and supposed to be very good, so I decided to anyway.  I figured it would be good for my ugly sauce anyway.  Plus they didn't have any orange ones this year so I couldn't make an orange-colored sauce for canning, just regular tomato sauce and ugly sauce.

I still have to plant my brassicas, lettuces, peppers, and petunias.  I am going to put a lot of them in my Greenstalk and then drape it with deer netting.  Not the peppers, though.  I also have various squashes to plant, patty pans, zucchinis, and acorn.  Plus green beans and peas.  It is a slow process, but the most important part was to get the tomatoes in.  They take the longest to mature.

So I will spend a day planting on Saturday and then we really need to spend a day just cleaning up the kitchen as a family.  It is such a mess and I am tired of it.  Nothing is organized, it needs a deep clean from the ceiling on down.  I am tired of cobwebs, I am tired of a dirty floor that needs scrubbing, I want a pristine refrigerator, including the bottom and walls and ceiling, not just the drawers and shelves that I do every week.  I want the window above the sink scrubbed that I can't reach, but my husband and son both can.  Then I need them to put the A/C in the window.

I need the curtains taken down and washed.  I need everything taken out of the cupboards and drawers and each drawer wiped out and put back in.  And I want the pile of groceries that need to go on the top shelf for long-term storage put away by the tall people.  I am so tired of it taking up space on the counter and I can't reach even on a step-stool.  I'd have to climb on the counter, which is a bad, bad idea for me.  Also, an impossibility with my deviated discs.  It is Spring Cleaning time.  Once that is done, and everything on the counters is put away, I want to set up the air fryer I got last year.  No more oil-fried food for this family.

At least tomorrow isn't payday.  I was so tired last Friday, I forget it was payday and didn't get it done until Monday.  I have a feeling tomorrow will be more of the same. 

Hello.  I've been gone for two months.  Dipped out the day after my birthday and haven't really been around since. There have been some big milestones that passed while I was away.  Retirement was a nice one.  It tripped over the $150K mark and then the $160K mark.  Seems like it wasn't very long ago it went over $100K.  I know it was, though.

Net worth did a real big one.  I reached the quarter of a million dollar mark!  $256,316.02 to be exact.

I've started contributing to the Emergency Fund again.  Not a lot at a time, but I've added $457.12 so far and that has brought me over $11K to $11,009.23.  My goal for the time being is to contribute $100 a month as I am still contributing to the bathroom construction fund.

Speaking of the bathroom construction fund, it now rests at $12K.  I think $3000 more is where I will stop and start looking for bids.  I have been managing to put $1000 away each month so far this year, so I hope that will continue.  That will put me at July, which is peak construction season.  We may have to hold off until the rainy season to get it done since most contractors will be busy.  I could borrow from the EF, I suppose, but I don't really like the idea of that.  I haven't even hit 2 months' wages yet in rebuilding that fund.  Which is $14,440.

DH and I passed our 28th wedding anniversay March 18th.  We didn't do anything for it.  DH's leg was hurting too much and I was going through an exhaution phase that I really haven't come out of.  I'm just sleeping a lot.  No other real symptoms.  Sleeping all night and taking naps around noon and then again around seven and then going to bed at eleven.  Probably something to do with my autoimmune stuff.  We figure maybe we will do something this summer or towards the end of spring, just go away for a weekend, just the two of us.  I'd rather save up for something for our 30th, though.  I'd like to go on a cruise.  Not a giant cruise, I don't like a crush of people all around me, but one of the smaller ones.

The 9th of April was also a milestone for me, because it was the 18th anniversary of starting this blog.  Now that's something.  I can't believe I've beeing writing it for that long, that I've had that much to say, or that it has had over 86,000,000 visits, and you've all want to read it that long.  I sure do appreciate it.  It's a nice thing to know.  And you know what is interesting?  When I started this blog I had $200,000 of debt to pay off and by the time my debt was paid off, I had paid off $250,000 because of the interest and an imprudent purchase.  A quarter of a million.  And now my net worth is a quarter of a million.  I've moved my net worth half a million in the opposite direction.  If I had started at $0, and threw money in retirement right from that moment, I could be at $500K right now.  My son has taken that away as a good lesson against debt.  So at least there is that.

At least, once the construction is over on the bathroom, we can work on getting our EF back up to snuff.  I would like to have 3 months' worth of wages by the end of 2026.  It would be great to do it sooner, but I just don't know.  We have a Hawaii trip to save for, a cruise, and a new vehicle with an expected purchase date of 2035 to 2040.  I want to purchase that in cash.  And I want 6 months' wages by 2030, so there's that.

We are working on buckling down, but it isn't always easy.  Take out is still our biggest temptation.  But we are trying to overcome it.  Especially since I am losing weight since we started cooking at home more often.  I've lost ten more pounds since February.  Things are going really well, there.  5 pounds a month might not seem like a lot to some people, but it is really a lot for me, considering how hard it has been for me to lose weight in the past.  And so far there has been no loose skin, so I think it is just the right pace for me.  Well, speaking of dinner, I better go make it.  Hope all is well with everyone.  I seldom have the brain stamina to read the blogs right now.

We didn't do much for my birthday, but that's the way I like it.  I've never felt the desire to celebrate since becoming an adult, other than 21.  I just like to have a laid back night with my immediate family and that's what I got.  We had a pan of enchiladas and they had rice and instead of cake, some brownies.  Brownies don't have baking soda or baking powder, so I can control the sodium content, unlike cake.  The recipe made nine.  I had my one and everyone else had two, so there are no leftovers to worry about.  Extra brownies are bad for the diet.

I'm 54 now.  Doesn't feel any different than 53.  I was teasing my husband a bit that now I was as old as he was.  We are just six months apart, so when he turns the year older I always tease him about how old he is.  He is a good sport about it and pretends to be an old man and then teases me back and says now I am as decrepit as he is.  LOL  I think I am probably more so.

The kids remembered on their own this year without me having to remind them at least, so there's that, too.

I hope to make it to the store tomorrow.  We are getting very low on produce and I need some chicken and herbs for meal prepping.

You ever have just one of those weird days that is just kind of spooky?  I had my follow-up Echocardigram this morning and then went over to pick up my c-pap supplies.  When I got out of my car I heard my name shouted.  It was close, like in the parking lot, which is small.  Only it wasn't my name, it was my nickname, and it is pretty rare.  No one calls me that name but my mom, my dad, and my sisters.  My dad is dead, one sister doesn't speak to the family including her own kids, the other is working, and my mom was at home.

I looked all around me and even called out, "Yes?", but there was no answer.  I changed what I was called to my real name when I started sixth grade, so it was highly unlikely anyone from elementary school would have recongized me and if they had they would have come over.  But there was no one.  So I went in and got my stuff.

When I came out the door, I heard the word, "Go!" right in my ear and I swear it sounded just like my dad.  It stopped me in my tracks.  Again, there was nobody around, just me.  So I shake it off and get in my car, planning to go to the library next, because it will still be light out for an hour before the homeless people move in and park themselves on the steps and it will be too dangerous to go, so I can get in and out and find something to read and then go to the grocery store.

Plan in mind, I back out of my parking spot and happen to glance up at the marquee of the strip mall next door.  There's a new shop there and it's called, get this, Home Instead.  Now I am having a little freak out at this point, but I decide to go ahead and trust my instincts and go directly home.  I start on my usual route, which takes me past Another Way Outreach Center, which I drive by all the time, I mean come on, and I come up to the stoplight to make my usual turn, and it is red, and my gut is just saying, no take the other way, take the other way, take the other way, so I go straight and take the longer way.

I have no idea why, I got home safe and sound, nothing weird was going on at home.  Maybe I avoided a car accident or something.  Maybe it was all a coincidence.  But I've learned to trust these things, because the one time I didn't, it ended badly.  I'll probably never know.

As for the c-pap supplies, those are going to be $702 when they finish processing through the insurance.  Gotta love the deductible.  

I have officially lost 6.2 pounds since coming back from Seattle.  Thinks are doing well on the pantry challenge.  I had a migraine yesterday, so DH made me scrambled egg sandwiches, which is just the eggs on bread wiht butter and you fold the bread in half.  For lunch, I had the last of the beef stew.  I didn't eat breakfast.  Everyone else ate leftovers for lunch.

Tonight I will be making a kielbasa, shrimp, peppers, onions, and cabbage stir-fry.  Semi-spicy.  Not a jambalaya.  Rice on the side.  Chicken salad was for lunch, on tortilla or spinach wraps for everyone but me.  I had mine in steamed Napa cabbage that I used in place of a wrap.  Skipped breakfast.  Most of the time we are just not breakfast people.

Tomorrow?  Maybe baked chicken, mashed potatoes, and green beans for dinner.  Lunch will likely be leftovers of dinner tonight or more chicken salad wraps.  Oh, wait, tomorrow is Saturday.  Maybe we'll do meatloaf or meatballs with spaghetti.

I am thinking about saving up to buy land.  I mean, once the EF is saved up for. So in the future.  It's kind of a dream.  Not necessarily land to live on.  But maybe some land in the county with one cleared acre, where we can put in a cistern and a greenhouse with guttering that harvests water through a series of filters and into the cistern.  Then we can grow a big garden and always have the water to water it without tapping into city water.  Getting a permit for a well is very hard right now, and expensive, but there are no permits needed for a cistern or gathing rain water. I'd also like to build a roof over it, with guttering to collect more water and make one end an RV shed.  If the cistern is out of sight, it is out of mind for any drone flyovers, just in case there are any bad actors out there.

I'd like one of those giant greenhouses that look like hoop houses, maybe even two.  We could grow so much more food there. and it would be protected from the elements and extend the growing season.  We could put up shade cloth easily when it got too hot and run fans and in the fall we could keep it warmer by battening down all the windows and moving to just planting down the center.  There are also even propane heaters if we wanted to try to grow into the cold part of the winter, but I doubt we would do that, since the roads are pretty impassable in the area I'm thinking for at least one month of the year.  But growing 9 to 10 months of the year would be great.  And we could put gutters on that for rain water catchement as well.

And I'd like to have a big pond and looping creek waterfall, with both a pump built and a solar fountain.  The pond we could stock with trout and have an automatic feeder.  And it would have the natural bog section for filtering out all the fish poop, that you don't go into, and we'd add water flowers as well as flowers and plants along the banks and rocks.  Not quite a tropical paradise since we arent in the tropics, but there are some amazing grasses and other style plants that grow here that look very tropical and they even overwinter.  And then there are some tubers like caladium and elephant ear hostas that you have to dig up and overwinter inside, but they are so worth the effort.  Lilies you can leave right in the ground and there are some that look very exotic.

Eventually we'd put in a septic tank when we could afford to so we could have a hookup for a small shed with a toilet and sink in it, maybe even a shower if we went swimming in the pond.  We would use solar to heat the water.  Meanwhile, we'd build an outhouse in the woods and keep a bucket of lime and some hay or straw to throw down the hole for proper composting.  And it is not hard to set up a solar shower/washing station to wash your hands with.

And the very first thing we would do when we got that land, before we did anything else would be to plant fruit trees, fruit bushes, and their pollinators.  Fruit trees take the longest to produce food.  5 to 6 years to produce fruit, so you have to get them in the ground the minute you move somewhere.  And I'll want a couple of Willow trees if there is a body of water to sustain them and I will want flowering pink cherry trees and flowering dogwoods planted along the driveway into the property so that when they are big enough they will form an arch over the driveway.

And maybe one day build a fully accessible house to my exact specifications, big enough to fit a wheelchair.

Will this ever happen, I don't know.  Land is getting more and more expensive, which is why I'd like to buy some here sooner, rather than later.  Otherwise, I'd have to move away from the coast to get a really good deal and I love living here even if the politics are not something I agree with.  I can't move to a place that there is not proper access to a high level medical facility or a really good ER in a regular hospital.  If I don't have both of those I risk my daughter's life and probably mine, too.  The cheapest places to live don't tend to have Viginia Mason, Swedish, John Hopkins, and the like.

So maybe this will always just remain a pipe dream.  Like so many of my dreams that came screeching to a halt the day my daughter slipped on those rocks and fractured her skull and changed her and our lives forever.  But maybe we will find the right place already built.  Because fixing up this place once we fully own it outright is not something I really want to do.  I really just want to start over with a house that isn't over a century old with a basement that doesn't flood in bad rainstorms, because I can't climb down the stairs to turn on the pump anymore.  And I'd like a house with modern wiring that is up to code.  I just want that option.

Last night I started a ten day process on getting the freezer full of individual frozen dinners for me to have ready to heat and eat like TV dinners, only homemade. I am eating healthier by avoiding takeout now.  I have always read ingredients and have been having some of the cleaner, healthier geared ones, which are still full of sodium, something I have to be careful with.  If I cook it myself, I can avoid putting in a ton of salt and if I make it gluten free, I can avoid a lot of the fillers put into food.

I cup up one of the store bought turkeys that was in our chest freezer.  We had bought one for Halloween and one for Christmas, but of course we got hit by Covid the week of Thanksgiving and I was still pretty sick the week of Christmas, we all were still exhauted and dragging, so we cancelled both holidays except the gift giving part at Christmas where MIL came in to our house and she and my mom kept a nice safe distance across the living room from us.

Anyway, cutting up a turkey is a lot harder than cutting up a chicken or a rabbit, but I got most of it done.  It was worth it in the end because it was an organic turkey with no ingredients other than turkey.  I did have to have my husband come and split the breat in half, because I chose not to keep it whole and I chose not to filet it.  I like roasting them, and in order to fit them in our little pressure oven, I have to cut them in half or they will touch the ceiling.  I keep the skin on and the bone in because it gives extra flavor to the bird.  Then after it cooks, I will filet the breast meat from the bone and slice it.

I did the legs, thighs, and neck last night for dinner and there is a lot of that left, too, and enough drippings to make stuffing and gravy.  So after I put one half of the turkey breast in to pressure roast, I'll start one of the Instant Pots going with two of the back pieces that were quite meaty, the wing tips, and some other scraps that came off, cover it with filtered water, and seasoning, and make stock.

Then I'll prepare my stuffing on the stove and put it in the oven for an hour (yes, I know it is technically dressing when it isn't inside the bird).  While it is baking, I will make gluten free no salt gravy with lots of herbs, while my husband makes a box of Instant potatoes (just potato flakes) for me (they do better in TV dinners).  Then I will take a break for dinner while everything cools and then put the other turkey breast in to pressure roast.

After dinner I will start assembling turkey, mashed potatoes, and gravy in the big compartment and either frozen green beans, or frozen mixed veggies in the small compartment.  If I have one with two small compartments and one large, I'll put the stuffing in the second one.  Frozen corn, and frozen carrots would work, too, if you don't mind the whole dinner being frozen carbs beside the protein.  So would peas, but not in my world.  Peas are meant to be an ingredient used sparingly in rice or soup, not an entire serving by itself.

By then the stock should be done and I can strain it into another pot.  The bones can be picked free of any meat and then put back into the Instant Pot with the bones I saved from the thigh and leg meat.  I will be using some of the broth for the liquid as I make the gravy on the second batch, since I won't have potato water from making the gravy and I will use gluten free flour, so the meals will remaining gluten free.

With any remaining meat, I will do turkey tip bowls and soup.  You know how you have steak tips in gravy?  Well, this will be turkey tips in gravy over mashed potatoes, with corn and cheese mixed in and then a green vegetable can be added like a can of green beans, frozen broccoli, or a salad, along with a biscuit or two.  I will make some up and put them in the freezer so they can warm them up when they want them.  It's basically a famous bowl from KFC only without it having crispy chicken in it.  They like those.  My version will be gluten free.

I plan to repeat this with meatloaf, a mix of roasted sweet potatoes, turnips, potatoes, and parsnips, and then for the non-root veggies, zucchini, summer squash, or green beans.  I will vary the meatloaf between ketchup, BBQ sauce, meatloaf gravy, and plain.  If I have some plain ones, my daughter can have one of those.  These meals are mostly for me, but this way she can have one or two.  She is the only one who can't fend for herself.

Now I have also cut the wings in half, so I have two flats and two drums from that.  They are large enough for the drums to be two meals and the flats to be one meal, so I will fry those up to make three meals.  I will season them with sazon and I will do sweet potato wedges and green beans for those.  I will air fry those and then warm them up in the air fryer.

For another one, I am going to buy a bag of gluten free chicken strips that I like and fry them up and divide them into the TV dinner trays and add mashed potatoes and green beans.

I think if I have the energy I will make turkey and sausage meatballs with my sauce over gluten free pasta, bake it, and then put it in aluminum containers to warm up.

I'd also like to make up some steak tips in gravy, baby potatoes, and zucchini and summer squash.

My son has promised to help, but we all know how that goes.  I just don't want to fall back on store-bought TV dinners (except the chicken strips, which are pretty clean).  I don't want my family eating out, either, so I need to make sure there are family frozen dinners for them, too, like a ham dinner with mashed potatoes and gravy and green beans, cheezy ham and rice bake, turkey enchilada bake, a family size meatloaf dinner (in the freezer already), a ravioli bake (in the freezer already), spaghetti and meatballs, and taco mix, maybe some pizza blanks.  Just enough to keep them going for a week to ten days.

I'll lay out recipes for my son and make sure he understands them and the ingredients he may need to buy, in case my heart is worse than expected and I take longer than a week to recover from this.  He is a good cook and I've taught him a lot, but he tends to stick to stir-fries a lot because they are easy.  After I am better, I will have my own individual meals for a while and I can serve them some of the things I don't like, like Chicken linguine Alfredo and not have to cook a second meal for me.

Eventually, I want to make enough meals that anyone can grab a TV dinner and eat it if they don't like the main meal or if no one wants to cook.  Take out is expensive.  Store-bought TV dinners are expensive.  This way is the cheapest way to do it and I won't feel like the dollars in my food budget are just slipping through my hands or worse, the Citi card being used too much to buy takeout because we are tired or unprepared.

I do pay it off in full each month, but has gotten to be a bad habit and I am worried we are slipping further and further into bad habits and one day buying food like this might push us to the point that we will have a month where we don't have enough money to pay the bill in full.  It's a slipperly slope.  I still guard against that every day, but I don't think I am guarding as hard as I should be these days.  It's a slippery slope and I need to get back off the mountain and go back to using the credit card only for automatic payments and at Costco for cash rewards, as was intended.

I need that extra money for other things right now, namely the bathroom rebuild.  I know some of the spending can't be helped with my heart being so underpowered and my husband working so many hours, but I am just going to have to put my head down, take it slow, and try harder.

It's a nice beautiful day, so I am going to go keep my husband company in the garden and if I have the stamina, pull some weeds.  The beans are surrounded and need some help or they will surrender.

17 years ago today, on April 9, 2006, I started this blog.  I'm sure the time stamps will say it is April 10th since they still haven't got those sorted after several years, but it is indeed April 9, 2023.  Very few of you have been around that long or close to that long.  Fewer than that, still post consistently.  But once in a while a familiar old name will pop up.  And there have been so many new people along the way.  I miss the busy days.

I never thought when I started this blog I'd be where I am today.  Out of debt and with a positive net worth.  I thought this post was going to be longer, more involved, but I haven't really had time today to think it out.  

I just know that I have hit some major milestones in the last few weeks with both net worth and retirement.   Net worth has gone over $200K and retirement that does not include company stock has gone over $100K.  Those are also numbers I never thought I would see, especially with how awful much of 2021 and all of 2022 was.  But we are seeing them.  I hope we will make those losses up.  It's going to take a lot, but we were buying the whole time, and that's what does it after all.  Buy at the lows and you will earn at the highs.

I've learned more than I ever thought I could when I first joined the blogs here.  I just wanted to find a way to keep my head above water and get out of debt.  Now I have a positive net worth.  I didn't even know those existed for people like me.  But they do.  I hope that maybe my struggles to get here have helped some people along the way.  I know that yours have helpled me.

Blessings, my SA family.  We are small, but we are mighty, and I couldn't have done it without all of you.

I'm and doing okay on the eat from the pantry challenge.  In 19 days we have only spent $27.32 on fresh produce and a half gallon of milk, which are within the parameters of my challenge.  Also within the parameters of my challenge are that if I find a really good sale on something, I can buy it, but I can't use it during the challenge.  That's okay, because I don't want to.  Most of it is for canning, the rest to be eaten during the next 3 months or so.

Some really good sales have come up.   One involes 25 pounds of carrots that works out to .67/lb and the other is 20 lbs of tomatoes that works out to .88/lb.  I still need to can carrots and I'd like to make some more tomato sauce to can.  Now that I am feeling better I want to get on with it.  I may go back a couple of times if I feel like I can get through it.  The sale ends on Sunday and then a new one will go up on Monday.  This is at the restaurant supply store.  It is cash only.

Plus there is a really good sale on chicken thighs and I want to stock up.  Chicken is the major thing I am lacking in my freezer and so far it isn't being rationed.  I am down to 3 packages of bone in skin on, and one package of boneless skinless.  We like to eat chicken twice a week.  I want to stock up while it is on sale and before they start putting rations on it, too.

They've already put rations on eggs, milk, distilled water when they even have it, certain cuts of beef, some fresh fruit, like last week they had bags of oranges, but you could only get one and they didn't have any loose oranges, and some of the, canned goods most notably corn, peas, mixed corn and peas, beans, and several types of chili.  Dry beans was one but they had 2 pound bags instead of 1.  Rice was not rationed.  Some things they don't have at all.  Others they only have frozen. Makes me glad we are expanding the garden this spring.

Friday is payday and I think I will go in on Friday and get 8 packages and then send DH in on Saturday to get 8 packages and we'll break them down into vacuum sealed bags of 8 pieces and see how much room we have left.  8 packages is how much I can take before I start getting side-eyed and commented on, even though there is usually a ton of chicken left with these sales.  Since the store is close, it's not a big deal to go there a few times.

Honestly, I want to go back until there isn't room in the upright freezer, but I want to make sure there is plenty for other people, too.  I want to do a third run, but I don't know.  If I decide to, I should take a bag of spot prawns out to thaw.  We have two big plastic bags full of ziploc bags of spot prawns taking up a lot of space.  That should give us a lot of room for chicken.  I don't want to start filling up the chest freezer, because we need to be making space there for when we get our next steer.  Maybe I'll pop in on Tuesday, the last day of the sale and get some.  Then others will have had the whole week to get chicken and I won't feel like a hog.  Still, I have to shop economically to feed my family with food prices going up so high.  There is nice and then there is foolish.

I mentioned above that distilled water was one of things being rationed here, assuming you could even find it.  We are lucky to have a few gallons of it at the moment and we are keeping an eye out for more.  We use it for our c-pap humidifiers and I use it for nasal rinses, so it is kind of a necessity for us.  So I am going to work into the budget for late February or early March, a distilling machine so we can make our own distilled water.  It takes about 4 hours to do a gallon of water.  So we can easily refill our gallon jugs and not have to worry about these shortages.  It'll cost around $150, so it'll take 150 uses to pay for itself, and we go through a jug every week if I have a cold, otherwise it'll last 2 weeks.  So it could take a while to pay for itself, but we will never have to worry about it for the life of the machine.

I have decided to just get a cheap frying pan for now and save up for a more expensive set later on.  At least the one I am getting is supposed to be rated to 500 degrees and our induction burner doesn't go any higher than that, so hopefully DH can't kill it.  He usually cooks stuff at 375 or 400, but the pans he ruined were only rated for 350.  I am getting the Blue Diamond one, which is under $30.

In other news, I have now lost 15 pounds.  I haven't exactly been on my diet, either.  I don't eat as much since having Covid, though.  I think my stomach shrank during that time.  I think just eating food at home for 19 days, eating from scratch mostly, trying to cut way back on my sugar and wheat, eating more vegetables and protein, and always taking a lactase enzyme when I eat dairy, even butter, has made a difference.  The enzyme is new in the last three weeks and has made a big difference in how I feel.  I no longer wake up nauseous in the morning if I had cheese at night trying to calm down an acid stomach because it always has, but I didn't know it would make my stomach hurt the next day, too.  I haven't had an acid stomach in weeks, though.

I haven't had much dairy, in a long time anyway.  I don't drink milk, I've been using gluten free flour and chicken broth instead of milk to make gravy for a long while, and I've had very little cheese, just a sprinkle on salads once a week, but I used to snack on it like crazy.  I will have cheese if I make pizza, but that's maybe once a month and mozzarella isn't so bad as others, the process takes out most of the lactose.  So most of the time butter is the only dairy I eat these days and I feel a lot better for it.  Or I eat goat or sheep's cheese because they don't have lactose.  Goat butter is good, but too expensive to be a real option.  I may try ghee since it takes out the milk solids.  They sell that by the tub at Costco.

I am still eating fruit, but I have really cut back on how much, just one serving a day and not even every day, because I know that fructose can be just as bad as sugar to someone who is borderline diabetic.  I am trying to stick to things with a lot of fiber though, like apples, oranges, and berries.  The first two are at least seasonal.  Blueberries are on sale a lot right now.  I know they are coming from Chile, but they are one of the better choices.  The apples are coming from cold storage in my state and the oranges are from California.

I am meeting with my doctor on the 26th to talk about the diabetes stuff some more and have a weight check.  I am just glad that my scale at home and the scale there are in sync with each other, so there will be no surprises if I weigh myself at home in the same clothes I will wear to the doctor's office.  We will also talk about a couple of my meds while I am there and maybe going on metformin as well.  I hate to add another medication as I am on so many already, but if it will help it may be inevitable.  What I don't want is to have to start checking my blood sugar.  I need to call about whether I need to get a new glucose test before my visit.  If I do, I really hope it has improved with all the changes.

My back has started feeling better with all the changes, which is really nice because I haven't been to the chiropractor in several weeks, not since my chiropractor had to have a triple bypass.  It'll probably be sometime in March before he can come back to work and it'll probably be just one day a week to start.  He's doing well, though.  We worry about him.  I've known him for 32 years, my husband for 35, and my kids their whole lives.  They call him Uncle Dr. ______.  He lives so healthy, but it is the family history.  He had problems about ten years ago, too.  Scared us to death back then, too.  At least they caught it in time, though.  His wife takes good care of him.  She's five years younger and in very good health.  She looks 15 years younger than she is.

I took DD to the gastro doctor today.  It was time for her yearly check.  They are going to send her for an ultrasound because she is having pain in the same place where they removed the tumor.  I'm not sure why they are doing an ultrasound instead of an MRI like they were doing before, but whatever. The fear is the tumor has grown back on her liver and is bleeding.  The tumor isn't supposed to hurt unless it starts bleeding.  She hasn't had an MRI since her surgery and I always thought it was the plan to do one a year after her surgery, but that didn't happen because of the issues back with Covid and hospitals, and she wasn't in pain so they pushed it.  Then she kept getting sick.  After that, I guess it got forgotten in the shuffle and the order expired and then they wanted to see her again before they did anything and now they just want to do an ultrasound, so I don't know.  It was an exhausting appointment.  It lasted over an hour.

But their new building is very pretty.  Their handicapped parking leaves a lot to be desired.  I don't think it should be compact parking slots when most handicapped people using van accessible slots have, you know, vans, which are not compact.  So the person using a walker or wheelchair on the passenger side can get out, but the driver can't, or vice versa if you have to park the other way because that's the only slot there is, unless you park halfway into the hatched lines, which if you do that, you may be preventing the person on the other side from getting into their vehicle if they have a walker or a wheelchair.  Not thought through well.

Also the handicapped push button for the doors in and out of the building is quite a ways away from the door opening, which if you are hobbling on a cane or walker is not the wisest thing.  Fortunately the doors stay open for a good 30 seconds, but making people walk those extra steps when they may not be able to, is not the best set up.  There were closer places they could have been placed.  But no one ever asks handicapped people about the designs of these things.  That was not an issue today, though, as both of us were walking pretty well.  When most of your clientele is elderly, though, you'd think you would think about that a little more.  Oh, well.  The world is made for the able bodied.  We are used to being an afterthought.

Well, this rambled off being about financial topics a while ago.  Let's bring it back.  I got my cash back for my Costco Executive membership.  It doesn't pay us back for the whole membership fee, we just don't shop there enough for that, but it is still worth getting to go in there an hour before other shoppers.  The store is pretty empty and checking out is faster.  It was $59.03, so we'll use that on our next Costco purchase.  We won't get our cash back on the credit card until March, when our membership renews, since that is tied together.  You'd think it would be tied to when I first got the credit card, but no.

Payday is tomorrow.  The budget is done, I just need to figure out how much I need to withdraw from the credit union tomorrow and then go to sleep.  I will try to get up a payday report tomorrow but last time it took me a few days, so no promises.

Real time: 11:19 p.m. Real Date: 1/19/2023

Payday has come and gone and I have re-funded all of my envelopes, funds, and sinking accounts.  I had money left in my grocery envelope, quite a lot actually, so I started my savings for the next beef, hencetofore to be known as "Beef Envelope" because I am fancy like that, with $208.  We just didn't buy that much.  Part of that was bad sales at the grocery stores both weeks, part of that was picking up our hog, part of that was having a lot of produce to go through from the previous pay cycle, some of it long lasting, like cabage, and melons.  There just wasn't too much need.  Based on how much it cost in July of 2021 to buy a whole steer, which was $2,955.64, I need to save up at least $3000.  And since that was 2 years ago, I probably need to build in an additional raise of .50/lb on the farmers side of things and .10/lb for the cut and wrap and $10 added to the kill fee, just to be on the safe side.  That was what it was for the hog.  So I need to set aside $3500 total for the steer.

On top of that I have raised the grocery budget by $100 to $500 a payday with the new raise DH got and with most of our meat taken care of now we had a lot more freedom at the grocery store.  Maybe I didn't need to do that, but it gives me plenty of money to put in the Beef Fund.

The only meat I have to buy now is chicken, turkey, deli meats, and fish, unless he ever gets to go fishing again this summer.  Work has been crazy and the last fishing trip was unsuccessfull for the guys who coud make it because the fish were still too small.  DH couldn't, because we were all down with something so bad he was afraid to leave us alone in case someone needed to go to the hospital (nobody did).

They didn't go out over the holiday weekend because the guy who own's the boat, his mother had hip replaement surgery earlier in the week and was coming hom the friday before.  Those first few days after are a 2 person job/challegne/nightmare.  Then it calms done enough that one person can handle it. And if not than he can work from home for the bad times.  They are very flexible with hours as long as you meat goals on time, show up for meetings even if on Zoom, and do your walk downs at the right time.  So hopefully, next weeked we can still get coho salmon.  It is my favorite.

Anyway, the garden is doing very well.  Last night I harvested 10.4 pounds of tomatoes from the garden bringing the tomato total up to 14.4 pounds for the year.  There were 3 more zuccchini, briging the weight totoal up to 3.8 pounds.  They were nowhere the size of the frst one, more like normal sized.  I weeded the zucchini finally and I'm sure it will appreciate not having to fight for light.  There are lots of healthy litle zuchchini on most of the plants.  I did have to take a couple of dead ones off one plant that had been completely shaded out by weeds, so now maybe it will flower again.  I also transplanted the nasturtiam away from the cucumers, and one day later they are liking it already.  I did pick my first two cucumbers.  They are small, pickling cucumbers, so their weight was .7 pounds.  I was starting to think I'd get nothing off those vines at all.

I think I am going to transplant my pepper plants away from the tomato plants and give them a batch of rabbit manure and see how they do with full sun and not fighting the tomatoes for resources.  I just have to hear back from the rabbit rescue place about rabbit manure.  The other two bunny farmers I've called ghosted me after a couple of days, so trying to find something more reliable now.  If not, I guess I'll just have to go with stinky fish emulsion or try to find a stables that is open this weekend for manure removal.  It was so much easier when cow manure was available in the stores instead of having to hunt sources down on my own.

If worst comes to worst we are off to the beach to harvest as much dead seaweed as will fit in the back of the truck to dry out, break up with our hands, and bury in the garden beds.  The nutrients in that will feed the beds for a couple of years.  That is included in his gathering license for shellfish, and they really don't care if you are just collecting the dead stuff if you have one or not, but safe side so he'll have it on him.  I'll just go to keep him company and to have some time away from the kids.

I really hope the fertilizer industry gets back on its feet soon so they stop taking up all the organic stuff because that is all that is left.  It makes it really hard for us gardners.  And then they have huge crop failures and we can't make up for it the way we might, because we don't have the inputs that were available to us before because big ag took it all.

I'm sorry if this comes off all fragmented.  I think the hamster on my brain fell off his wheel today.  Anyway, I am going to put as much aside as I can within limits to save for the beef to meet that goal, put as much aside as I can to refill the EF, and extend my garden season as long as possible while preparing the beds for next  year.

Just before leaving for my son's eye appointment he came down and handed me an envelope from Regence, our health insurance company.  It was a thin business envelope, not the oddly sized explanation of benefits envelope.  I didn't want to open it.  About a week ago we had gotten one just like it saying they had received the appeal.

I decided not to open it and we headed off to get his eye exam and new glasses picked out.  He's also going to get contacts for the first time, so we will have to make an appointment to have them teach him how to use them and take care of them.  It's going to be interesting.  Insurance did not cover frames this time, just lenses and they won't cover contacts.  The exam, retinal mapping, $10 co-pay, and additional contact lens measuring came to $100.  I think that we pay more at the next appointment.

Anyway, they were having a 20% off sale on glasses, so with our insurance and that, his new glasses came to $210.  So we came out of there pretty good, I thought.  When my daughter and I get glasses our prescriptions are so bad it costs a lot more.  Even with the lower cost frames under $200, and insurance for the lenses, we still pay around $400 to $450 on a year that covers both.

So that was a good thing and we headed home to face that envelope.  I opened it up and I burst into tears.  I hardly ever cry unless I am watching something heartbreaking on youtube or a show.  I've got a real tight control on my emotions, but I just couldn't keep it in.  I had to read it four times to believe it.  She has been approved to stay on our insurance for 5 years!  5 years.  I thought it would only be one, but 5 years!  Then she'll have to go through exams again, but man, 5 years!  You cannot imagine the relief I feel about this.  No COBRA, no $753 monthly payments, just business as normal.

When I told DD, she also burst into tears.  You can't imagine the stress this has lifted off us.  It was like it evaporated away into nothing.  My husband and son are also so relieved and DH felt his stress, at least over this, lift in much the same way.  I don't think we really have to worry about all this in 5 years, either because her diseases are degenerative.  She won't get better, she'll get worse or if she is lucky stay the same, but to not have to worry about medical getting yanked out from under her is just amazing.

After that we went to the chiropractor, I told him about the spondylosis at the L2 and L3 that showed up on the x-rays I had on Monday, so we add that to the L4 and L5 degenerative discs in the treatment program.  Now that I've been cleared to do physical therapy again, I called to try to get scheduled, but they want me to get a new order from the doctor.  *sighs*  More work for me.  Hopefully I can just message him through the portal since I just saw him and get a new order sent without having to go in again.

After that, DS and I put soaker hoses on the green beans.  They have really perked up since putting on the shade cloth.  Some I thought were dead for sure are standing up and putting out new green leaves.  I am so happy.  I am going to poke some seeds into the ones that all the sprouts died in, just to see if they'll be ready in time to pick before the cold seasons, but at least the sun didn't kill them all.

Then DH got home and told me that his Great Aunt had died.  So I cried again, because I loved her a lot.  She's been doing poorly for a while and we knew it was coming, but she's been an instituion in this family.  Her older brother lived until he was 105 years old, so we thought maybe she would, too.  DH couldn't remember if she was 97 or 98, but she almost made it.  Her husband has been gone maybe 10 or 15 years now, so she's been alone for awhile.  One daughter lives in the mid-west and the other is an hour away, so one was near and some of the grandkids and they were taking turns to check on her.  It is for the best with the pain she was in, but I will miss her.

At least I have a nice dress I can wear to the funeral.  It's not exactly subdued, but it isn't a riot of colorful flowers, either, like what I usually buy.  Just a nice summer dress with sleeves and not a sundress.  I don't have any appropriate shoes unless I wear my boots and it has been way too hot to do that.  Funerals aren't exactly a place to wear flip flops and they don't make sandals in 4E width.  DD has a nice dress, too, it came 2 weeks ago.  I am focusing on the minutiae because I really don't want to think about it.  I'm not heartless, just discotiating.

My new wardrobe came and I'm happy it goes well with some of the pieces from my old wardrobe as well.  And everything is true to the colors they showed in the photos.  So I'm happy with that.  I finally have nice clothes again, not washed out, overly worn, incorrectly sized clothes.  It's a silly thing to be happy about on a day that has put me through the emotional wringer.

I need to get my tears out now, so I can be there to support my husband and MIL and my favorite of DH's cousins, her youngest daughter.  I'm not close with the older one, but I'll be there for her, too, if she needs me.

This is bringing up thoughts of my own mother who turns 83 at the end of the month. She is getting frail and more forgetful and I see her mortality every day now.  We need to pay for her to get a will made.  It needs to be done sooner rather than later, while she is still in her right mind.

It was such a good day, until it wasn't, but I am still riding high on the good news and maybe on the increased dosage of the drug that controls my hypomania and depression.  Maybe now I can allow myself to breathe again.

I'm well ahead on my reading goal for 2022.  I finished Child Zero on the tenth and it was a good book.  I'd give it 4.5 out of 5 stars, and the knock down was because incredibly excessive swearing.  Like you would be hard pressed to find a page that didn't have swearing in it if there was dialogue and sometimes when they were just thinking.  It was so bad it kept throwing me out of the story.  But I soldiered through and I really liked it.  Chris Holm is no Michael Crichton, even though they are comparing him to that author.  Not nearly enough medical details to even come close.  Still good though.

I started reading City of Orange, but I couldn't stand it, so turned that back into the library.  It is rare for me to not stick out a book, but yeesh.  Ten pages in and I felt like I was being tortured by bad writing.  Now I'm reading Summer at the Cape, but I'm not sure I'm really in the mood for book four in this series right now.

I have more books on hold, but they are taking forever.  I may have to actually go into the library to find some instead of purusing GoodReads.com and hoping the library carries whatever I am interested in.  I'm in the mood for a YA thriller or vampires or werewolves or something supernatural.  Just kind of fun, mindless things with overwrought teenagers, but well-written.  It's a guilty pleasure.  And they don't tend to have explicit love scenes.

Well, my son just took the pizza out of the oven so I guess it is time to finish this off.  Hope all is well with everyone.  You've all been pretty quiet.

Last night was rough.  I did a lot of new exercises at physical therapy and even though it was in the pool it totally kicked my butt.  45 minutes of non-stop exercise was only possible with the decreased gravity.  By the time I got home everything hurt so bad.  I made it halfway to the house before I had to sit down in the chair at the bottom of the ramp and put the bag down.  It was so heavy with a wet towel and suit in there.  And I forgot my phone so I couldn't call DH to come out and get me.  So I sat there about ten minutes until I could go into the house and send DH out for my bag.  That's how weak I was.

I wasn't able to move my arms enough to make dinner.  They just felt like lead.  It felt like a full on fibro flare with the RA kicking in just for fun.  So we got Mexican.  I had a single tostada de ceviche.  They make it with tiger shrimp and it is really good with lots of tomatoes and onions.  And then I had a rectangle from a chicken quesadilla.  I also got 1 beef enchilada with rice, but I was too exhausted to eat it, so it went in the fridge for today.  I figured I would be able to eat it all since I hadn't eaten all day (yes, bad, I know).  And the rest of the family only ate 1 triangle each of the quesadilla, so there are still two left which I will probably have for lunch tomorrow.  We spent $80 for the four of us.

I took a hot shower after dinner and that helped, but DH had to come wash my hair since I wasn't able to lift my arms above my head.  I still had a good bit of pain going on so I took half a hydrocodone and it knocked me out and when I woke up I felt a lot better.  I can still feel some soreness, but it is just muscle soreness and not fibro.  It hurts to raise my hands above my head, but I can.

The hands still hurt, but they always do after a lot of work.  And not near as much as yesterday as I am typing fairly easily.  I will probably have to avoid that exercise in the future due to how hard it was on my hands.  It was using a mini-kickboard, holding it upright underwater, and pulling it towards me and pushing it away.  It builds the core, but so do a lot of other things, so we'll figure something out.  I have PT again on Friday so we can talk about it then.

I am able to make dinner tonight so we have steaks thawing.  I am going to cook the steaks rare and have green beans, and French fries.  It's a fairly simple dinner.  If my hands were better I'd be making fried potatoes, but French fries will have to do.  I have been making a lot more meals, but yesterday just threw me for a loop.  I will be making a crockpot meal on Friday so that I won't have to worry about making dinner when I get back from PT, it will just be there and ready.  We have beef ribs which work really well with low and slow cooking, so I will just throw them in there with some potatoes and sweet potatoes and then all that will need to be done when I get home is micro-steam a bag of broccoli.

DS and I went out to "shop" the freezer and brought in some steaks and roasts, Canadian bacon, and a pack of hotdogs.  I only had 16 pounds of butter, so I need to do a major stock up.  Last year I bought 60 pounds of butter and 8 of those in there were bought recently, so we went through a pound of butter a week, so I guess I planned pretty well.  I like spring and summer butter when the cows are on green grass and not hay.  I get grass fed butter and there is a world of difference between that and conventional, but also between summer and winter butter.

DS and I need to do an inventory of what is out there and of what is in the mini-chest freezer.  It is easy to see what is in the upright.  I need to see what we need to eat through and how much space we will have in the house and how much we will have in the garage.  I know some of what is in there is crab bait chicken and turkey breast and that will be out of there as soon as the dungeness season starts.  They have freezer burn, so this is a great way of not wasting the meat.  It'll get us through the season and it sure beats buying crab bait, especially at today's prices.

I had regular therapy today and we talked about how I don't like change and how I want to cut my hair and I've wanted to cut it since before the pandemic and things have been open and without masks for quite some time, but I don't do it.  Part of it was my salon went out of business, but something else was affecting me and I knew it.  So she asked if anything from my childhood might be affecting me and I realized that Mom made me get pixie cuts when I was a kid, because she didn't want to deal with the work of longer hair.  I wasn't allowed to choose my own hair cut until I was in the third grade and then I grew it long.

And even though I have had it short at various times in my life it was because I wanted to.  Now it is below my waist and full of damage and i need to get it cut.  And you know what?  My mom keeps saying that I need to get it cut.   Constantly.  And I haven't, because I still resent her very much for forcing me to have a style of hair that I hated for so many years.  Or that one time she made me get a perm.

So, now that I realize the only reason I am not doing it is to spite her, I think I can finally get past this and cut my hair to a couple inches below my shoulders and be done with it.  I've found a salon after much looking, so all I need to do is call tomorrow and schedule an appointment.

It's good for me to be able to realize what this is and get through it.  This is not the only aspect of my life that Mom affects this way, unfortunately.  And all of it relates back to having no bodily auntonomy when I was younger.  So steps were taken today to help me realize this and I feel a lot lighter.

Alright, well I better get to making dinner now that the steaks have sat out for an hour and are at room temp.  Then after dinner I will work in the garden a little.  Instead of getting a whole load of dirt, I've realized that we have a bunch of totes that we were growing in for the last two years that have dirt in them.  I weeded several of them yesterday and I managed to screen all the dirt in one to pull out roots and other things, like the peanuts our crazy squirrel couple bury all over the place.  Two of the peanuts have roots on them, so I put them in a large pot and we will see what becomes of them.

Last year there was one that grew and actually formed some peanuts.  Of course, I didn't know what it was until I'd pulled it out and it didn't take to being replanted and died.  I didn't even know peanuts could grow here, but apparently they can.  And these one's hadn't formed any other nuts on them so they have a better chance.  I'll have to look up their needs to see if they need special care and make sure I planted them at the right depth.

Okay, really going now.

Our 401K has started to creep back up, but our IRA is all over the place, but mostly not recovering or going down on average in a week.  Still, it's overall, better.  It's up to $71,159.77, which is a rise of $525.77.  That brings net worth up by the same amount to $129,285.26.

I feel uneasy about how much we have lost this year.  Our income on the 401K is -4.42%.  On the IRA it is -5.16%.  Not numbers that make me feel all warm and fuzzy.  But we're holding.  We either wait out this administration or we hope that something changes at the midterms that opens American oil back up.  Closing it down so much is what is causing a ton of this economic turmoil and inflation.  I've seen it before twice in my lifetime.  You may not agree, but that is my experience.

Turning Covid from pandemic to endemic and opening the world back up would also help a lot.  We are going to have to just live with it like we do the flu eventually.  It can't stay this way forever.  Esepcially when politicians and celebrities flout the rules at super spreader events like the superbowl and fundraisers.  Either we all wear masks or no one does.  And since they won't, there is not much point for us to keep it up unless we want to.  Being vaccinated has not stopped me from getting it and spreading it to my family who is also vaccinated.  Twice.  But at least we didn't die.

I've got to get my 3rd booster scheduled though and for the family as well.  Just waiting out the dregs of this head cold so that we are all healthy enough to do this.  Might have to do it separately as one person gets well.  Otherwise, I'm not sure how it will get done.

It's a little scary seeing Canada turn into a facist regime.  Real facist, not "I don't agree with your politics so I will call you a facist" facist.  The livestreams are scary at times.  But that's all I will say about that, because if I start spouting off on what's going on in Ottawa with that sorry excuse of a PM, I'll never stop.

I've been trying to get my brain together enough to do a goals post for 2022, but right now I am just really scattered.  DH flew off to California yesterday for work.  He'll be back on Saturday night.  His flight went well and he called me when he arrived and then again when he got to the hotel.  He has to go to a different area of California in February for a week, too.  I really hate that.  I know he used to be gone all the time for work only a few short years ago, but I am no longer used to that.

I had a therapy session today and it went well.  I'm still not sure if the anti-depressants are working or not, but the therapy is helping.  I'm starting to understand where some of my stuff comes from and how it affects me when dealing with other people in the present who do something similar to people in the past.  I really dislike doing therapy over the computer, though.  In person visits are much better where I don't have to worry about anyone possibly hearing what I am saying.

One of the tasks on my list is to find out where DH stored the car window washing fluid and then look up in the manual where the tank is for that.  I am pretty sure I know where it is, but I think I've only filled it once since we bought the car in 2011.  I'm not even sure I know where the hood release is, though I imagine it is down by the gas tank cover release button.

Tomorrow I need to pick up milk, but I think I have enough empty milk bottles to return that it'll cover the milk and get some change back.  I have four milk bottles and each has a $2 deposit.  I am so glad there is a local dairy that has glass containers for their milk and cream and half and half.  It sells through the one line of stores or you can go out there to buy it on certain days of the week, but I tend to go to the store because that is a 5 minute drive max and the other is 20 minutes there and 20 minutes back.

We need to take the Christmas lights down.  While we aren't the only people on the block with them up still, I feel like their time has come.  Friday and Saturday are supposed to be dry.  It's supposed to rain pretty hard on Tues, Wed, and Thurs, but there might be breaks in the weather like today when there wasn't supposed to be one.  We were doing other things, though.  We will get the Christmas tree taken down in the meanwhile.  I'll start on it tonight after dinner.

I need to fold a basket of towels, too.  My shoulder and upper arm are doing better than they were and so the folding motion is much more tolerable to do.  DH got a lot of the knots out before he left.  I don't want to get far behind again.  Right now there is just one clean basket of laundry and very little dirty laundry and I'd like to keep up with it now that I can.

I also need to do some spot cleaning.  Because of my back I have a hard time doing everything at once, but I find if I pick a spot and do five minutes, it gets there bit by bit.  My spot cleaning for today is the bathroom counter and sink.  A full wipe down of the dust and hair (my hair is almost down to my hips now and gets everywhere) then cleaning, rinsing, then drying off.  I might have to do it in two sessions a couple of hours apart, do the counter first and then do the sink second.  At least DH did the mirror last week so that still looks good.

We are going to take the glass shower door off our bathtub and replace it with a rod and shower curtain.  The glass door is just a collecting space for gunk, especially the runners.  With the shower curtain we can just toss it in the washer when it needs it.  And it will make it a lot easier to clean the bathtub.  With the doors gone I can just sit on the rim of the tub and reach a lot easier with a long handled brush.  It has been the hardest thing for me to clean because of that darn door.

We'll have to fill in some holes where it was screwed into the tub, but we plan to eventually tear out this tub and build a tiled bench to sit on and then make a tile walk-in shower with a six inch lip to keep the water from running onto the floor.  We would probably keep the shower surround and just build the tiles up to it.  Maybe one day we could finish it, but I am thinking of what we can afford to do now.  It will be much easier for DD and for me, with our disabilities, to get in there.  It already has one handicapped rail, but it isn't in the best location for the bench, so if we do end up doing the whole thing one day we can put it in a better location.

My spot clean for tomorrow is to break down a bunch of cardboard boxes and to fold up a bunch of paper grocery bags for recycling and put away the canned goods that are still in some of those paper bags.  DS will help with that one.  I need him to rejigger our canned food rack.  One of them was set for an unusual size can that we not longer get, and then one was tiny for those little spiced ham cans, but I can no longer get the brand I like since Covid, so we don't really need that row at all.  I think if we rejigger it we can have one regular sized row for soup.  I have a bag of soups needing a home.

Well, I'm off to make dinner.  We are having beef stew tonight from home canned beef, home grown and canned potatoes, and home canned carrots.  I've been putting it off.

I wonder if they've fixed the time stamps yet?

True date:  1/10/22

True time:  6:01 p.m.

There were appointments every day this week and man was it exhausting.  I had two physical therapy sessions, one regular therapy session, one doctor's appointment for me, and one doctor's appointment for DD, who has bronchitis and a negative Covid test.  I've been put on prednisone for 10 days to try to help with some of the inflammation I've been having due to the rheumatoid arthritis acting up so much in this cold weather swing, so I am feeling semi-decent, even if I do look like a puffer fish.

Last night DH and I to Costco and did a big shop.  I used the ride on cart and we filled that basket, plus the basket of another shopping cart.  I haven't been to Costco in months.  We spent all but $50 of the grocery budget in one go, but I have lots of fruits and vegetables, some carne asada and two types of raviolis.  And 4 cases of PH water, which was nearly $50 of the cost. 

And 2 cases of Charmin.  It's the first time they've had Charmin in a couple of months according the cashier.  They had a limit of 5, though we only got 2.  We might go back for more later.  I like to keep 5 cases in the house during cold and flu season and we were down to one.  Charmin is the only TP we can use that doesn't have some harsh agent in it that causes a rash.  Well, that and MD but we can't find that anywhere for the last few years.  They might not make it anymore.

I was really excited to find some uncured paleo bacon (no sugar) and some uncured paleo Candian bacon.  And also a turkey and a roast beef deli meat pack with no sugar.  I am going to restart my diet on Monday.  I am not doing paleo, I just like to keep my high carb intake down to one meal a day, no more than 60 grams, and the other meals to be no sugar with lots of low carb vegetables.  I got a couple of salad kits, a Ceasar (won't eat the dressing or croutons, but others will) and a chopped Meditarrean salad mix that had a lot of crunchy veggies in it like cabbage, broccoli slaw, carrots, and non-romaine lettuce.  So I will mix those together.  I love salad and I make a simple dressing that has very low carbs, but tastes good.  I also stocked up a little on Kerrygold butter both salted and unsalted.

After that we headed out to storage with the truck to start bringing in our outdoor Christmas decorations.  The elk takes up almost the whole bed of the truck, but we were able to put the flat large ornament under it and tuck some other small things around it.  We had the bottled water back there, so there wasn't a ton of extra room.  Tonight we will be going back out to bring in the lamp post, the icicle lights, all the the other things like the star, the angel, the Cardnial, the Santa face, and the candy canes.  Plus the extension cords.

After we got home with the elk and put the groceries away and rested, we headed out to Lowe's.  We picked up a large room space heater for us and another one for Mom.  It has made a tremendous difference and I am no longer worried about the pipes freezing.  We heard from the furnace people and it might actually be two more weeks.

We picked up some more lights while there and got a new standee yard decoration.  This was a bear dressed in a band uniform sitting on a drum, so we call him a little drummer bear.  I try to buy one standee a year.  And we bought new lights for the bushes, because the solar ones just did not work well last winter.  Too much bad weather and too little sunshine.  We forgot to buy clips for the gutters though so we will go get those tonight when we go back out to storage.  Then hopefully tomorrow we can get the decorations up.  It's supposed to snow on Monday, so I'd like that done first.

At some point this weekend I'd like to go look for a freezer, too, now that the money has been refunded to us.  So thankfully that whole freezer saga is done.  Only took them 5 months.  If we can at least get one ordered that would be nice.

Oh, and we bought an electric blanket for DH since his quit working.  It should be here from Amazon on the 6th.

It has been spendy, but everything was either budgeted for or was saved up for, so it's all good.

I hope DH gets a decent Christmas bonus this year.  It would be cool if we could dump some more money into the EF.  They generally give a cash bonus and a 401K bonus.  Or you can choose to have the cash bonus go into your 401K, too, in which case the government doesn't get their greedy little paws on a huge chunk of the bonus (bonuses are taxed higher).  Last year the take home bonus was around $500, I think, but the year before it was $1500.  They supposedly did a lot better this year than last, so I am hopeful.

They are supposed to give out raises at the end of the year, too.  Not everyone is getting one, but it was strongly implied at DH's performance review that he would be.  I don't think any raise could keep up with runaway inflation right now, but anything would help.  It's not like DH doesn't have a good income, but when you put 15% into retirement and tithe 10%, that only leaves you with 75% to live on and that does make it tight sometimes.  It is like how we were living when we were paying down debt for the most part.

I guess that is the trade off, though.  Sacrifice now, so we don't have to sacrifice when we are in retirement.  I guess it just feels super tight because we had to set aside most of the money MIL gave us for medical expenses instead of just being able to use it.  But DS needs braces and DH needs a crown and I need a new mouth guard because mine is starting to crack.  Mine will only cost $400 though.  The crown will be $1500 and the braces I don't know yet, but I've got $6000 set aside for that.  I hope it won't cost that much, but that is what we paid for DD, although her teeth were way worse.

We need to get DS separated from the grocer's union so he can go get a restaurant job.  Did  you know that if you take a non-union job after joining that union that they can sue you?  That sucks.  He does not want to go back to work at a grocery store.  All the fast food places are hiring and they are non-union.  The McDonalds nearby is over $15.69 an hour for regular shifts and $16.69 for overnight shifts.  He was making $17.79 at the grocery store, so that's not too big a cut.  Plus he won't have to go outside much.  He had to get the carts at the grocery store and was always getting soaked, even with the rain jacket.

If he can get a job there it would be ideal.  Either that or the DQ that is a block away from the McD's.  He needs to start earning money so that he can get a car and then start saving up for school to become an electrician.  But first he has to get his GED.  Now that he is properly medicated for ADHD and BiPolar, he's got a chance of focusing long enough to do that.  Although I think McD's also has a program for getting your high school diplomma so he might be able to do that, too.  I'd prefer that to the GED, but at this point I just want him to finish.

MIL dropped the bomb on us this week that she'd be giving us $10,000 soon and her daughter and her new husband (long, long time boyfriend) the same.  I was surprised, since she already gave us $6000 this year, plus paid for DD's liver tumor removal surgery.  I guess now that her daughter is married, she can give more money because the gift isn't just going to one person, it is split up in a couple.  She didn't do it before since they weren't married and wanted to keep it fair.  The amount you can gift one person is $13K, so she couldn't go over that, but now she can give each couple up to $26K a year, since half would go to one and half would go to the other.

I know there are a few things that need to be done that are small.  My husband, son, and I all need new computer chairs.  My husband might get a better desk since the working from home thing doesn't seem like it will be stopping any time soon.  I'd like to get an adjustable bedframe.  I've been saving up for it and can pay for about half, but it would take me another year to save for the other half, since it is $1500, plus tax, plus delivery.  Because of my disk issues, it would really make my life a lot easier to be able to sit up in bed and elevate my legs and it would help me to get out of bed on the really bad days when the rheumatoid arthritis is acting up.

I'd like to set aside $2000 towards DS's braces, I've got $3000 saved.  I'd like to set aside $2000 for a family vacation, just to rent a place on the waterfront next summer for a week or so.  I'd like to put $3000 aside for next year's medical deductible, and then anything else would go into the emergency fund.  I may not need to set aside as much for orthodontia as I think as DS will qualify for medical insurance in another month and his has orthodontia, but no dental plan I've ever seen pays for more than half of that.  In which case, if I don't need to save that, then that money will move into the EF as well.  So that's the good.

The bad is I hurt my hand.  It is in a spot where I have a habit of pressing my hands together and it is super painful right now.  I don't know what I even did to it, I was just cracking my knuckles and it felt like a blood vessel exploded and now it feels like a massive bruise.  It hurts a little when I type too long, but mostly it's because I keep acidentally touching it.  It looks bruised and swollen, too.  My daughter thinks I might have rolled a tendon or something.

As for the ugly, there has been a lot of drama this week.  My middle sister is being a drama queen (a consistent pattern of hers) over my Mom using tough love on her son and us backing her up.  This is the same sister who quite literally had to sell her house and move across the state into a one bedroom condo with her husband to get him out of the house, because he wouldn't move out, so Mom said he could live here a year if he did certain things he has not done.

Sister tried to manipulate me for information and when she didn't like the answers I gave her, tried to turn it around on me that I was blaming her for everything she has ever done in her entire life somehow.  I've only ever blamed her for two things in her life that she was responsible for and that was when we were kids, and I wasn't really blaming her this time, so much as saying this action of yours is why this is happening.  You did it so either undo it or deal with it.  Only more tactfully, because she's high maintenance.  I don't play the blame game, but I do expect people to take responsibility for their own actions.

She was always a master at turning things around on people to make them believe that they were in the wrong when she was.  Despite the fact that I have seen her do this in every relationship she has ever had, you don't grow up with a narcicisst and not sometimes fall under it.  She almost got me this time, but I realised the steps she was using and realized this was her and not me.  One, try to control, two, manipulate, three, gaslight, four, tantrum, five, play the victim, six, silent treatment, seven, hold a grudge, eight, martyr her way out and repeat.  She's on step six at current.

I hope she gets some therapy and grows up.  For someone who wanted to be nothing like either of our parents, she is the perfect product of the worst sides of both of them.  I'm just weary of giving her space in my head.  I'm tired of her turning on me every time I disagree with her, like I can't have opinions of my own.  So I have decided to go no contact with her.  She adds no joy to my life and I am tired of being the only one who tries to maintain the relationship.  It's no longer worth it.  I'm just done.

It's a big step and I know once she gets through her cycle she'll be back, but I just can't be there when she is.  I'm done.

So I am dragging my sorry self back in to post.  I had a bad weekend with my thigh muscles being absolutely on fire and it made it hard to focus on anything else.  No blogging, no writing at all.  It started to pass on Sunday morning and except for some occasional shooting fingers of fire it is much better, though the side and front muscles all feel like a massive bruise and are tender to the touch.  This is all from a massive psyatic nerve pinch.

I ordered some of the special eye drops my daughter needs for her Sjogren's disease, almost $53 for a 90 pack.  Then my son's specail inhaler, which is not covered by our insurance but is discounted under the Walgreen's prescription helper card, was $168.  They are suspecting reactive airway disease and he'll be seeing an allergist/immunologist in October.  His condition really kicked up after that big sickness we had on March of 2020 (suspected Covid, might have been a bad flu), which none of us bounced back from for about six months.  I will be glad when Friday gets here and I can dump another $500 into the medical fund.  Hopefully some of that can go towards orthodontia savings, because that has been stuck at $3000 due to having to buy a new walker for my daughter and one for myself, which fortunately I have only had to use 3 times so far.  Most days I can get by with my cane and once in a while I have a really good day and don't need anything, although those are becoming rarer.

It looks like my son will be working 20 hours a week with his new job, at least until the high school kids go back to high school, whether in person, or more likely, back to video as it is looking like we might be heading back into lock downs.  Then it is likely he will be moved to full time.  Hopefully he can cope with a mask, because they reinstituted them this week for their vaccinated employees.  He has his inhalers, although he had to keep them in his locker as they could react to some of the chemicals they have for cleaning.

The library has also reinstituted them for everyone coming in.  That's true of all city buildings.  I'm suspecting they know something the general public does not yet, and that they will probably be making everyone wear them inside again soon.  Honestly, I've been debating it myself.  I was planning on it for the cold season anyway, because I still ended up with a lot less colds, despite the fact it is hard on my asthma.  I'm not looking forward to it, but I know what a bad case of Covid did to my BIL more recently and I do not want it to happen in my immediate family.  Although they are saying this delta variant isnt as hard on the vaccinated, they do still get sick.  And since I know how long it took me to feel normal again after what we suspect was Covid last time, I don't want to go through anything like that again.

I finally feel up to cooking tonight and am thinking about thawing out some steaks from the grass fed organic whole beef we purchased, making some fried potatoes to go with, and baking some yellow zucchini from our garden.  I've picked two so far, but haven't eaten any yet.  The cucumber and lettuce was really good, though.

My goal for the rest of the week and next week is no eating out.  We've really got to reign that in again.  It causes too much careless spending and takes a dent out of the money I want to save each month, if not wipes it out completely.  I wish I could get back that focus I had when we were paying off debt.  I know it is not as bad as it could be.  We are contributing 15% to the 401k, after all.  But I do want that EF to grow from 3 months to 6 months and it is not going to happen if we don't put it in check.  It's been over a year that we've been debt free.  And I feel like we've wasted a lot of it due to this kind of nonsense.  I need to get my motivation back.

Although one place I do have my motivation back is my diet.  I am off the soda and caffeine again and back to my diet.  I've lost 5.2 pounds so far.  I really need to do this to get the pressure off my psyatic nerve.  The orthopedist/neurosurgeon said it'll probably take about 50 pounds for a significant difference, but even a few pounds will make a small difference and I'm thinking it has made some in the last couple days, at least with the fire, if not the numbness.  I also feel a little difference in the disc pain, too, so here's hoping I keep my motivation, although pain is a very big motivator.

Tomorrow is DS's day off, but he has a dentist appointment and an appointment with the sleep doctor that I have to take him to and then hopefully we can make it to Whole Foods.  Not much of a day off for him, but stuff has to get done.

I found out Whole Foods carries a grape jelly that is not made with corn syrup.  Grape jelly is my favorite, but I cannot have corn syrup or I get really sick, so I haven't had it in ages.  Since the last time I made some and I can't remember when that was.  I also want to get some of the gluten free Jovial pasta.  The closer store only carries the spaghetti and the penne, but they are always out of penne.  Whole Foods carries a lot more choices.  It's just harder to get over there since it is so out of the way.  I might see if they have any duck breasts while I am there.  It's been a long time since we have had duck.

I need to go through the new sales ads and see if there is anything good at Fred Meyer since it is right across the street from Whole Foods.  We won't be able to do our typical grocery shopping trip on Friday this week as DS is working, but we don't need that much anyway, just fresh fruit, chicken, deli ham, deli turkey, and maybe some fish if any looks good and it isn't too expensive.  I'm not sure when DH and his boss are going to be able to make it out fishing, but I hope it is soon.

All right, that about wraps it up.

I had to purchase a new phone.  My phone has not been holding a charge.  I will charge it in the evening and turn it off and by morning it is down to 44%.  Turning it on trying to use it, would see it turn itself off after 20 minutes.  So the only way I could really use it is if it was plugged in all the time, which kind of defeats the purpose of a cell phone.  It was also getting really hot all the time, which we later found out was the battery.  It was pretty deformed.

I ordered a new battery which was $18 and DH tried to install it, but he ended up destroying the screen by pushing down on it too much.  He also stripped a couple of the screws and it wouldn't turn on properly, then it wouldn't turn on at all.  It was completely bricked.  The cost of replacement screen was enough for me to say screw that, I might as well get a new phone.  So I ordered one and a new phone case and that cost just under $310.  I had more than that in my allowance folder, so I didn't have to scramble to pay for it.  I did pay the extra to get it here earlier.  Still won't be until Wednesday.

I finally got the clothes I've been waiting on for ages.  I had ordered 4 summer nightgowns back at the start of June and 2 ( expensive) bras.  The nightgowns were in 2 packs and on clearance.  I've thrown out the ratty old ones that I've sewn up a few times.  The new bras are fantastic, so I might order two more when I've got a little more money in the clothing envelope.  They were over $50 a piece.  Worth it though for the fit and comfort and cooling panel.  I'm glad I decided to try a new style.  I don't remember what I paid for them, but I used money in the clothing envelope.

My jeans are starting to get pretty ratty, too.  I have some nice ones one size down and some sweats in that size, too.  I really don't want to buy new ones, so I am back on the diet wagon.  Hopefully this time I will stick to it.  Mostly I am in shorts right now so it is fine, but that will be over soon enough, so I've got two months to go down a size.  I can do that.  I've done it before.

I did pretty well on my writing this week.  I set a goal of writing 5000 words.  I had two days where I didn't write and 2 days where I kept getting interupted while trying to write, but I got some serious writing in on other days and hit my goal.  I had a total of 6181 words from last Sunday to Saturday.  I'm going to post here for accountability.  I did write today, but that will be on next Sunday's post.

Sunday: 901 words

Monday: 41 words

Tuesday: 0 words

Wednesday: 1634 words

Thursday: 0 words

Friday: 195 words

Saturday: 3410 words

My goal for this week is 6500 words, so if I do around 930 words a day I can hit that.

Thursday I had a massive fibro flare, but finally got to start the medicine the new orthopedic doctor prescribed on Wednesday of the week before.  It only took a week and a day for his office to pull their heads out of their butts and actually get it sent to the pharmacy.  I was supposed to start it the day I saw him, and I called 3 times about it over the course of a week.  The last message I left was a tone full of firm, polite, restrained annoyance (still obvious, but not like I was going to go off on anyone, or what I call Mom tone, which is a balancing act when not using it on children.  It worked and they finally called me back on that one within 15 minutes.  I was very polite to the person I talked to, who was quite apologetic, and I had the meds in my hand within two hours.

They work.  It knocked my fibro pain down to half the first day and 3/4 the second.  It is also helping with the nerve pain in my leg which was what it was prescribed for, but he said it should help the fibro pain.  I started on one pill a day and now I'm on two pills a day and in a couple of days I'll have worked up to three pills a day, which is what he wanted me on.  You just have to build up over a few days to see how you react and that the higher does doesn't make you to drowsy to feel anything.  I don't feel any more tired than I normally feel, so I don't think that particular side effect is one I got.  I don't feel I have any side effects from it at all.

He wanted me to start pool therapy for my back and hip, but that won't start until October since they are booked so far out.  I am scheduled to see a pain management specialist in August, but if this nerve medicine drug keeps working, I may not need anything from him.  I haven't taken hydrocodone since the day I started it.  I haven't needed it.  I can't believe how much better I am feeling.  I certainly have a lot more motivation.

Not much more going on.  I did get a big stack of books from the library.  I'm on a theme right now of romances by the lake or the sea, usually with some woman renovating a cottage or a lighthouse or a B&B and hiring the sexy handyman or contractor or having a helpful single neighbor man to do his part.  It's totally a trope, but it is one of my favorite, as they tend to be pretty light and airy summer reading.  Currently reading a lighthouse one.  I'll dive back into space military sci-fi with a strong female lead in the fall, then mountain lodges and home for Christmas stories in the winter.  I tend to read apocalyptic stories in the spring.  Not sure why.  It's a weird pattern with me, but I like what I like when I like it, so oh, well.

We had a nice Independence Day.  The fireworks were beautiful and they had quite a few new shapes that I had never seen before.  They also had some that were this intense shade of orangey-yellow that I've never seen on a firework.  

Today was nice and peaceful.  DH had the day off paid since the holiday was on the weekend and it was one that the company pays for either the Friday before or the Monday after if the day falls on a weekend.  He gets seven federal holidays and one floating holiday (which we usually take the day after Thanksgiving or the week of Christmas depending on our plans).

I have managed to write 1848 words so far this week that I kept and 503 that I deleted.  I am still kind of having to force myself to do it by using a writing sprint to get me started, but I am managing.

Most of the day I spent watching a Turkish drama called Kadeslerim which is very good if you don't mind bawling your eyes out.  Even if the subtitles aren't the greatest in the first episode, they get better after that.  I had to look up some expressions being used because in English they seem inappropriate to the circumstances, but they meant something else in Turkish that went with the plot.  Fortunately I found a list of twenty common Turkish expressions and it helped my understanding a lot.  The actors are amazing, the emotion conveyed was very impactful, and everyone is very beautiful.  I really, really want to see the bad guy get his.  If you don't mind reading your shows, this one is worth watching.

I filled out my paperwork for yet another jury summons.  I am not kidding when I say they constantly call me.  This time my doctor put in the note that I would never be able to serve in my condition.  I don't know if that will be enough to remove me from the summoning pool.  You would think with 3 degenerative diseases that cause permanent issues with sitting for long periods and as many doctor's notes as I've sent in they wouldn't continue to call me year after year.

It feels like harrassment of the disabled at this point.  I know it isn't, I know it is automated, but it still feels that way.  I have been summoned 14 times now.  You know how many times my husband has been summoned?  Once, and they didn't end up needing him.  My mom and MIL?  Never.  My son?  Once, but Covid happened.  All people who can serve and would be capable of serving and want to serve.

Heck, if I were capable of sitting that long and not on two powerful painkillers, I'd love to.  But these medicines make it hard to concentrate or focus and I cannot go without them or I don't function.  I am just so frustrated.  Every time I have to go see the doctor (major extra expense on year's the deductible has not been met), get a doctor's note which I generally have to go back for a day or two later, and spend my own stamp (minor extra expense, but it bugs me it is not postage paid for something that is not optional) to send it in.  Any extra trips, driving or walking, are just so bad right now, I really resent it.

I am almost at the point of giving up my garden.  DS has to do most of the work right now.  Maybe things will get better after I see the neurosurgeon this week.  Maybe he can put me on something else or give me injections or something.  The numbness in my thigh is now all the way down the outside and has moved to about half of the front.  I feel completely useless.  I'm even having trouble cooking every day.  At least I can still type.  Not sure what I will do when I lose that ability.  Well, that got depressing.

This was not a good week.  Mom has got it into her head that she wants to give us the house now, like next week, using a quit claim deed.  I keep trying to tell her she'll get smacked with a massive gift tax if she does it like that.  She's going to go see someone she said is an elder lawyer.  I'm not even sure what that means, unless what she means is an estate planning lawyer.  I told her she needs to ask him about the unified estate tax credit instead, but she isn't really in a listening mood.  I would prefer she just write her will and leave it to us there.

I'm not terribly thrilled about this turn of events, because I don't think we can afford the property taxes this year.  I'm trying to save up for DS's braces and get the EF fully funded, then save up for next year's medical deductible.  Plus it is looking like DD has a torn miniscus.  She has an MRI coming up soon to be sure.  Then she'll likely need surgery since it is pretty much a given that physical therapy doesn't work for a torn miniscus if it is so bad you can barely walk.

I finally got an appointment with the neurosurgeon.  It should not take a month to get a referral through, but my doctor's office had their heads up their butts and it took nearly 3 weeks for the referral to be sent, when it was supposed to take 1.  Than another week and a half before the neurosurgeon's office got their end sorted.  It's at 9:30 in the morning, so that is going to suck.  It is very hard for me to get moving in the mornings due to the fibromyalgia and rheumatoid arthritis.  Plus I am a night owl not an early bird.  It's in a week so at least I don't have long to wait now.

I had a couple of days where my back pain was so bad I was crying, but it has at least eased off.  Those days coincided with the temps of 92, 97, and 100°F in our heat wave.  Mom gave in and let us put an air conditioner in our (not really a kitchen) kitchen window.  It's the only window in the house that will work with our unit from the old place.  It didn't do a ton, but enough to make it liveable.  It was still 80 degrees in the house and we had to use all the fans we had.  But at least we could go to the kitchen and cool off and DD's room, which is opposite that window, was comfortable so we would go in there a lot, too.

It's doing better yesterday and today and I can reach with my right arm again.  It's down from a 10 to a 7 with pain levels so it is bearable with medication.  DS has been watering the garden, but I haven't really been able to even go outside.  I may try tomorrow.  At the very least I will walk to the end of the driveway where DH will set up chairs and watch the firework show over the bay.  It was cancelled last year due to Covid, so I was very happy to hear they are doing it like normal this year.  It is always so pretty and we don't have to deal with traffic or any of the negative aspects of city events like crowds, smokers, overly perfumed people, bratty kids, and drunken adults.

I don't think we will do a BBQ or anything for Independence Day.  It really depends on how hot it is to be playing with charcoal and fire.  I do have steaks, so we could.  Just not sure it is worth going to all that effort right now.  I'm not up to it, but DH might be.

I have started writing again after a six month block.  I'm not sure I really like any of it yet, but the point is to get back in the habit of daily writing.  I was doing pretty good until the pain got bad and had to stop, but I have started back up again as of today.  We'll see if it leads anywhere.

We got a dividend check in the mail from Louisianna Pacific.  A whopping 51 cents for 3.1 shares.  I am actually thinking about getting some more maybe next year.  We can sign up for a $25 a month autowithdrawal if we want to.  It has always paid a dividend and that has been steadily rising over the years.  We used to Drip it, but they discontinued the Drip about seven years ago.  It'll go to the EF eventually, but I am not going to make an extra trip to the bank to deposit it.  It can wait until next Friday when I do the payday stuff.

Not much else going on.

Retirement has gone up to $58,000.69, a difference of $1136.27 since last payday.  All of that was contributions from DH or work, except $52.27  It was a rough two weeks, but the IRA finished ahead of where it was last payday by $15.31.  I hear the next six weeks are going to be very bumpy for the stock market.  I hope it is just a rumor.

I am really missing the stock market from the 3 years pre-Covid.  I have a feeling the only reason we will be moving forward at all this year is going to be mostly due to contributions, not gains.  Oh, well, we hold as always.  No panic selling.  Keep treading and we'll keep our heads above water.  This won't last forever and the recovery period will gain ground eventually.

Tomorrow I get to ditch the darn mask.  It's due to be 100 degrees F and I need to go grocery shopping, so thank goodness.  I finally feel like myself again.  The Moderna vaccine was really hard on my fatigue levels, both times.  I was exhaused for 12 days each time.  I had horrible bone aches after the second shot for 36 hours.  But those were my only symptoms.  I have waited out my time, so now, in my state, the fully vaxed only need them in medical facilities that require them.  It'll be weird to show my face again, but it has been lovely seeing other people's faces the last couple of weeks.

On the 12th we passed our one year debt free mark.  It has been an interesting year.  The freedom that comes with not having the oppression that debt provides is remarkable.  While not much else has changed here, attitudes have.  Tension levels have.  Loosening the reins is something allowable.

Are we as far ahead as I had hoped we would be?  No.  And Yes.  Medical bills continue to be a thing we have to plan for.  The unexpected always has a way of rearing its ugly head.  Yet at the same time, we have paid them all as we went.

We have taken on 15% retirement savings for the last half year and succeeded and that is something major that I thought we'd really struggle to do, but it is no different than living with a large portion of income that went to debt each month, so I feel like we were training for this.

Did I save as much money into the EF as I wanted?  No, but we are still quite a ways ahead.  Part of that reason is that I decided I wanted to bulk purchase meat.  Part of that reason was that we ate out far more than intended because we had the freedom to.  And part of that reason was replacing a lot of items that we simply put off replacing while we were in debt.

We were able to fund all the sinking funds that I planned for without it being difficult.  At no time did we have to put anything on a credit card because we hadn't saved up ahead of time.  While we do still use our credit card, it is only for convenience and autopays and is paid off in full every payday.

We have increased our net worth substantially in the last year.  At no other time in our married life can I say that.  My goal for 2022 is to refocus on getting the EF up to six month's expenses, but we will have to see how it goes.  The rest of this year's would be deposits will be going to saving up for DS's braces instead.  I have $3500 and need to save an additional $2500 before we can move forward.  That I am hoping to achieve by year's end. 

My MRI was pretty awful.  I don't generally get claustraphobic, but I've never been in the smaller machine before, I've always been in the open one.  They put me in head first, but it hurt my shoulders so much (severe RA in them) that they pulled me out and turned me around and put me in feet first and I had to put my arms over my head, which was also uncomfortable, but was way better, plus I could see out of the machine a little bit and that calmed down the panic of being so enclosed.

I was in so much pain by the time I got off the table that it has taken me until today to recover.  I had no strength or grip in my right arm yesterday, which happens sometimes when the shoulder stays in a position for too long that is bad for it.  It was back today, though.

The doctor's nurse called me with the results.  I have moved from mild to moderate diagnosis via x-ray to moderate to severe via MRI degenerative disc disease with changes in the plates.  So I am being referred to a neurosurgeon.  That doesn't necessarily mean surgery.  There may be other things that can be tried first that is not physical therapy.  Pain management and cortizone shots while I try to lose more weight.  If I can manage the pain better I can walk around better and get some real exercise.  It's always been hard for me to lose weight from just dieting alone.

After trying those, we might consider a nerve block, but I want more info on that.  Failing that, surgical intervention may be required.  It may be required from the start, though.  That's what the referral is for, to find out.

I haven't done anything in the garden the last two days except keep my son company while he picked strawberries.  I needed the fresh air and while DS is willing to do the work, he likes having someone to talk to while he does it.  No photos yet for LAL.

I watched the US Nationals Gymnastics.  It's kind of a forgone conclusion anymore who is going to win with the women, which kind of takes the suspense out of it for me.  I enjoyed it anyway.  Simone is fun to watch and has so much power, but she really doesn't seem to ever stick the landings.  She excels so much that it doesn't matter, but after all these years, I would expect her to get better at that.  And her artistry is almost non-existent.  The men stick their landings a lot better than the women did.

I really liked Suni.  She has more artistry in her little finger than anyone else and she stuck her landings more often.  And that's with coming back from a foot and ankle injury.  She was just beautiful to watch, so graceful and not so much about the power, though she is clearly very strong.  Her floor routine and her balance beam were so pretty.

I see a lot of potential in Jordan.  She's got better artistry than Simone, but Simone barely has any, just depends on her power.  Her routines are not as difficult or complicated, but give her a couple more years and she might be able to challenge even more.  I am looking forward to the Olympics.  I don't watch much, but I do enjoy men's and women's gymnastics.

I liked watching the guys, too, but it is all about power and strength there.  So it's cool and fun and impressive, but more about skill than anything.  I prefer artistry.

Not much else going on around here.

It was 15 years ago that I started this blog.  It took a little over 14 years and 2 months of that time to get out of debt.  I really never thought I'd wake up one day and actually be here.  It was all so overwhelming.  We kept plugging and kept plugging and even took on new debt in there a couple of times, but eventually we stopped that and got where we needed to be.  The freedom from it is like no other.  And I don't think I would have made it without this blog and all the support I have recieved along the way.  Thank you for thinking my blog was interesting enough to give me nearly 83 million visits along the decade and a half I've been here.  I appreciate it.

My eldest sister moved out yesterday.  Not without almost coming to blows with Mom.  I say that, but I don't mean they would have physically fought.  It was a pretty strong verbal one, though.  My sister had a small stack of things she did not want to send with the movers and my mother wanted them to go with the movers instead of waiting a couple hours for my sister to come back and transport them in the car.  Mom couldn't get it through her head that my sister didn't want to send her personal documents, jewelry, laptop, and other most special items with the movers and wanted to move them herself in her car.  Some things you don't want to risk having misplaced, buried by boxes, or stolen.  It's like she's trying to slam the door on her on the way out.

Eldest sis will be much happier out of here.  Mom's been really petty and vindictive about her staying here even though she was invited to stay here.  They just don't get along well and it isn't my sister's fault.  She's never been able to get along with Mom since she hit high school on.  Even at 61 she can't.  I don't blame here, though.  Mom picks at her constantly.

She will be living in a small efficiency apartment 2 miles away.  It's a cute little apartment complex with one on the corner that always goes all out to decorate for the holidays.  I love driving past there to see whatever new thing they've got up.  Right now it is still leprechauns, but won't be much longer. Probably won't see anything else until they decorate for Easter.

Anyway, sis is safely out of Mom's war path and things seem to have settled around here.  My nephew (from my middle sister) is still living here, but I think he is getting close to proposing to his girlfriend.  She isn't allowed to live here, not even if they get married, so he would be moving out.  He's not got a job, though.  He has been living on his savings since he moved in here and could probably do so for another year.

I think he needs to get going on his life, though, get back into the work force., move out and marry this girl.  He'll be 30 in April.  We have fully reopened here, so it really is time for him to go get a new job.  It's one thing when a sixteen year old wants to play video games all day, every day.  It is kind of sad when someone his age actually does it for six months straight.  He doesn't help around the place, which is mostly what irritates me.  If you live in a household, you should contribute to it.

I have qualified for the Covid vaccine and so has my daughter, but not my husband and son.  I'm not sure when that will happen though.  DD needs to get a lumbar puncture soon due to issues with her spinal fluid putting pressure on her brain and eyes.  And I will be having the full roto rooter now that I'm over fifty.  I'm scheduled on April 20th.  I should have had it done last year, but Covid happened.  Not really looking forward to not eating for 24 hours and drinking that junk that makes me sick.  I've had an endoscopy before, but never a colonoscopy.

I need to schedule a mammogram in there at some point, too.  I haven't had one since I was 45.  Once we know when the lumbar puncture is, we can figure out when to get the vaccine.  Plus DH and I are going away for a little vacation on the 23rd of April to the cottage by the sea.  I need to get away from here and recharge by the water for my own mental health.  So it might not be gotten until May unless we can fit both injections around everything else.  I'm not really in a rush unless they start requiring it to enter businesses or something.  We go out so little, just to grocery shop and go to the appointments.  But we will get it when we can figure out the time.

Or I may go sooner and we wait a little more for DD.  Might not be a bad idea if we have a bad reaction and go down for a day like some people (my physical therapist had to go to bed for 24 hours after her second shot, but no one else she knows who got it has), to not do it on the same day so I can take care of her if it happens to her.  People with autoimmune dieseases like us are a little more prone to that reaction.

I have to go and pick up my new lenses tomrrow for my glasses.  They didn't measure right and the reading portion is so small I have to tilt my head up, but then look down through the bottom to even read.  Either that or literally hold them up an inch.  So no, that was getting fixed.  I had to go back 3 times before they would do it, kept trying to adjust the arms to fit better, but it didn't.  I do get one free remake with what I purchased, so hopefully nothing else bad happens.  I had a lot of issues with the coating on the last pair.  I will just be glad to have it sorted out and see if I can read comfortably again.  If not, I may just get a pair of prescription reading glasses made with my old frames.  But hopefully not and it will all just go well.

There has not been much going on here these days.  We haven't spent any money and we haven't gone anywhere other than to appointments.  I am keeping my mind busy, though.  I decided to learn Italian.  I have been at it for five days and am thoroughly enjoying myself.  I have absolutely no problem with getting the accent right according to Duolingo.

I had learned French in high school and Spanish in college, but I never really enjoyed them.  I always wanted to learn Italian, but it wasn't offered.  I just love Italy and Italian food and really want to go there some day.  I am finding I am picking it up quickly and I really like learning it.

My knowledge of the two romantic languages I have learned does help some, but it also hinders a bit.  Especially when words are virtually identical, but pronounced differently like the Spanish and Italian word for chicken, pollo.  The first is like poyo and the second is like polo.  There are quite a lot of words that are similar to English, though.  Banana is spelled the same but pronounced differently.  Carota is carrot.  Pesce is fish which is the first part of pescetarian, but is said pesha.  It's kind of cool.

I hope I continue to like it.  It is work, but it really keeps my mind active.

DS is learning French (but he likes it), DD is brushing up on her Japanese, and DH is doing Irish gaelic.  I figured it was time I joined them.  And if we ever get to travel we can visit a good portion of the Western European countries and Japan and get around fairly well.  I had thought about learning Welsh, but the spelling would have killed me.

Since December 18th our retirement accounts have risen by $1826.64.  So it's been a month.  $880 of that was our contribution and $110 was what work contributed.  It is so nice to have work contributions again.  So $990 was what was put in altogether.  $836.64 was profit.  It will be nice to see it rise much more quickly now, since the $990 will be every payday from now on.

Assuming the stock market doesn't tank tomorrow.  I just want this whole transfer of power thing to be done and over with without any violence so that normal Americans can get back to their lives without worrying whether or not the country will go off its rocker.

And please, no political comments on this post.  I will just delete them.  I don't care who you were for or against and I don't want to hear any negativity about either side.  We are all Americans and the majority of us just want to be a whole country and have a peaceful transition and get on with it.

My daughter came home from the hospital last night.  They got all of the tumor.  We have to wait a week or so for the biopsy results, but it did not appear to be cancerous.  She is doing well, eating soup and Welch's version of Jell-O, which has no artificial dyes in it.  She's a little high on the pain medicine, but that's kind of how she reacts to it.

I started physical therapy on Friday.  They can't do much with me because of how inflammed I am right now, but they started an electrical stimulation thing called a tens machine and did that over the L-4 and L-5 vertabrae on my back.  I think it made a small amount of difference, but it is early days.

The pantry challenge is going well.  We still have not gone to the grocery store yet.  I have only repeated one meal and that was because there were leftovers.  I have salmon and spot prawns thawing in the fridge, both of which my husband and son caught.  DD thinks those will be easy for her to eat.  Her jaw and throat are pretty sore from having a breathing tube in during surgery.  So easy to chew foods are on the agenda for a couple of days.  We have a lot of seafood in the freezer, but it is getting close to the time when it needs to be used up by.

I finally succeeded in finding some dye free, fragrance free shampoo and conditioner.  I am hoping they are good products.  I still can't find a body wash like that that doesn't use coconut oil.  We make do on the castile bar baby soap that is fragrance and dye free, but sometimes you just want a liquid body wash.

If that new stimulus Biden wants passes that will give you money for all dependents not just children, we will be getting quite a lot of money.  DH made a mistake when he was trying to figure out our taxes early.  Turns out we will owe somewhere in the $900 range, not the over $2000 he'd originally thought.

If so, and if this stimulus comes quickly I figure we'll open a spousal IRA for 2020, which may be enough to get rid of that tax bill, and see about getting a new ceiling in the tiny bathroom.  If it doesn't pass or we don't get it, then I guess we will just have to save up to fix it.  First off I will need to price everything, but I think DH and DS can do it themselves.

It should only require two pieces of the moisture resistant drywall and rental of a drywall lifter, and some tape, some mud, and some paint.  We have plastic sheeting to keep paint from dripping onto the floor, tub, sink, mirror, and shelves.  We saved everything our mattresses were wrapped in.

I got my first seed order today from Victory seeds.  I am really excited about starting to plan for the new garden.  We are completely redoing it with cinderblock raised beds that we will use mortar on to make a permanent structure.  The wooden beds just fall apart too quickly and I don't want to throw away anymore money on this.

I have another order coming from Fedco and I have to order a couple more things yet, but not much.  I am just waiting on one of the companies to put up its seeds for the year, which should be any day now.  It's just the type of broccoli and the type of lettuce I want.

Not too much going on here.  I have slowly been working my way through the novel I am reading and am about 80% done.  I can't read like I used to since the concussion a few years ago and because of the floaters in my eyes so I mostly take 3 to 4 weeks to read a large print novel these days.  I set my goal on Goodreads to 12 books read for the year.  I listen to a lot of audio stories and books, though, but I don't count that as actual reading.  I do read quite a bit online, but I have to put the magnification up pretty high.

I've now lost 13.4 pounds, but I gave in and ate gluten today, still within the confines of my diet.  It was breaded cod fish.  We will see how I feel tomorrow.  I don't react like my kids do, but it usually makes me feel bloated.  At least I made it halfway through the month.

I have to admit it is pretty and it makes the Christmas lights look even prettier, but I am not the world's biggest fan of snow.  One day snow is just right, in my opinion.  Then it can melt and go away.  The roads were bad and we went early to the chiropractor to try not to be on the roads after dark.  I am bummed about missing the "Christmas star" today, though.  Jupiter and Saturn were in alignment for a couple of hours today and were supposed to create the effect.  Won't happen like that again for another 80 years.  Hopefully it is on youtube somewhere from a place that had clear skies or maybe NASA has it.  Not quite the same as seeing it in person.

I think it will probably all melt tomorrow based on the weather forcast and I can go get done what I wanted to get done, namely, buy the standing rib roast, and yellow potatoes for Christmas dinner.  Tomorrow is the last day of the sale.  I have corn and green beans, so we are set for that.  We'll probably need some egg nog and some more milk, too.  And I want to pick up some PH water, too as it helps with the heartburn.

So today was obviously a no spend day, but only because I had to put it off.  We did finally get the Christmas tree put up.  It has lights but no ornaments and I'm not sure I'm going to bother.  It looks pretty as it is and I am just really tired.  No one else seems to want to do it, so I'm kind of meh about it.  I wasn't even going to bother with a tree, with my sister and her stuff here there really isn't room, but got pestered about it by my mother.  I just don't have the energy to put them up and take them down, and my back still doesn't like me reaching so that's the way it is going to be.  I can't do it all by myself and I won't.

One of the things I've noticed this year since paying off our debt is that I have gotten a little too free-spending.  Or maybe it just seems that way.  Well, I know it is with eating out, though we've cracked back down on that, but I am wondering about whether or not I truly am on other things.

Maybe it is just because we went so long without replacing things and upgrading things that now that we have the money, I am just getting what I put off getting.  I've replaced all of my pans, gotten an electric citrus juicer, bought clothes and shoes, and of course all the mattresses and I'm about to buy a freezer that I've been saving for and have the money for a propane grill so when we are ready to get it we can.  I mean, I budget for, and save for these things and I limit what I get in any one month, but lately it seems like we are having packages arrive daily.

I know some of that is Christmas gifts coming and some of it is gluten free food I can't get locally and vitamins and whatnot, but I can't help but feel like it is out of control.  Only I don't think it is.  I just think it is allowing us to get things after not for so many years while we tackled the debt.  Maybe I just feel guilty for spending, period.  Is this a thing that happens once you are debt free?  Is it just because I have loosened the purse strings?

Replacement mode does seem to be winding down now.  I will be saving for a new knife set, though, and then new pots and then we should be good for a long while, I think.  They are pricier than I've had before, but the pots are made in America and the knives are made in Germany, and they are higher quality.

The thing is, I still want to build the Emergency Fund to three month's salary and eventually to six and maybe even eventually to a year after that.  I feel like I can't do that while I am in replacement mode.  I am adding some, but I feel like I could be doing so much more.  I do plan on buckling down in January and making consistent deposits to the EF.  And we do plan on raising our retirement contributions in January as well.

I guess we will be moving on from this soon, but the feelings behind so much spending have been building up.  It probably is quite normal.  I just want to rein it back in for 2021.  The focus really needs to come back and move into that gazelle intense phase again.  That seemed easier to do when we were paying down debt than it is to just save.  I have to get over that.