I had to sit through another t-ball game tonight. We are so doing soccer next year. The entire team had a very bad case of being little boys. Chelsea was absent, so I can say that. I didn't think they were ever going to settle down and pay attention to the game, and I was right, they didn't. Oh, well, just three more to go and then the season is over.

I went to the grocery store and spent $40 on food. Well, mostly on food. I bought a five ounce tin of Hungarian paprika for $7.79. That's technically a spice. And then the $3.99 for the infotainment magazine wasn't technically food, either. But the rest of it was.

I am going to go to Costco tomorrow if I feel well enough to do it. I am out of some staples. Well, not staples in the traditional sense, because its ravioli, chili, and kosher beef hot dogs, but those are things that are eaten all the time here, so I call them staples. I want to get strawberries and maybe some other fruit if it looks good. And I need to fill up the gas tank. I may just wait until Friday, though. We'll see.

My kids are still fighting over stupid stuff and I am ready to send them to boarding school. No, not really. I don't think. They are normally such good kids. In fact, the school librarian was just talking about them the other day and said they were two of the nicest kids she's ever met and she thinks they are just wonderful. I wonder what she would think if she could see the little hellions right now? Though maybe they are so good with her because she controls the books.

I am back home again after spending the weekend recovering from my surgery at my mother's house. I swear the minute we walked back in the door of my house my kids started fighting and haven't stopped since. So I made them go to bed early because I don't have the energy to deal with them when they are being monsters and I warned them a dozen times, so they asked for it.

Today was a no spend day. I am glad to be home and sleeping in my own bed again. I am so grateful for school tomorrow. I'll have the day to rest anyway.

Sorry, nothing financial today. Too distracted. A lot of things happened today. Well, two things happened today. The first was my parent-in-laws 40th Anniversary party, which was quite lovely and went very well. Fast forward.

The second was about the little girl who had the ectopic pregnancy. Actually, it was the boyfriend who came to talk to me, because her parents wouldn't let him see her anymore. Said she trusted me so he was going to try to, too. He wasn't upset, he was terrified. I don't think I've ever seen someone look so frightened in my life.

I knew there had to be more going on just from what he wasn't saying and the way he wasn't saying it, but I finally got it out of him, because he wanted to tell someone. He didn't get her pregnant. He agreed to say he did to try to protect her. She was raped by a seventeen year old cousin who was living in her home and threatened her if she told the truth. He was only her "boyfriend" to hang out with her to keep the other guy from getting around her as much as possible, but the only thing he ever did was hold her hand to pass himself off as a boyfriend.

He did not know what to do, but he was scared to leave her alone. He was scared to talk to his own parents because of all the lies the two of them told in all of this and because he was afraid the cousin would hurt the girl again. Everyone thought he was the villian of this piece. Can you imagine a fifteen year old boy taking all this on himself? I don't even have the words.

Well, I had words, just not on that. Talked to both sets of the parents, talked to the girl, and talked to the cops when her parents called them, which I would have done if they hadn't. Cousin admitted everything, thank goodness, and is out of the home and in juvenile detention tonight.

And the "boyfriend," the only one she trusted, is allowed back around the girl, as long as he isn't a real "boyfriend." And her parents? I told them they better start talking to their daughter because she was too scared to come to them when she needed them most. It's a different age. We have to make sure our children come to us when they are in trouble and the only way to do that is to communicate all the time. Every day.

I am so proud of that boy, trying to protect her. Even if he was misguided, his heart was in the right place.

See? Sometimes there is a reason I don't trust what people tell me. Especially the second time. Fool me once, shame on you, try to fool me twice and you're not going to be able to do it, because I'm not going to trust a word you have to say ever again. I go with my gut because it's never been wrong. Good thing I did that this time and didn't get my hopes up, because I was right. I didn't crash down because of it.

I will be fine tomorrow. I will be my old self. I will face the world with cheerfulness and remember that I am blessed with so much in my life. But today, I get the poison out of my system and I rant.

Oh, wait a minute. You're coming in on the middle of the conversation. Am I in the mood to share today? Let's see, there's sarcasm, annoyance, irritation and just a hint of bitterness thrown in. Something for everyone. Ah, well, enter at your own risk.

Let's just say the promotion DH was promised, the one with the contract that was to be signed today, went up in smoke. Oh, he would have gotten it if the company (A) his company (B) subcontracts to hadn't changed their mind at the very last minute and pulled funding for the job that was supposed to start this week. They said. His immediate boss and the immediate boss's boss are both pretty p.o.'d at company A. They said. So the job no longer exists. They said. They're going to try again to get it funded in another couple of months. They said. They still want him in that positon. They said. He can still "help out" in that position as needed at his new regular rate. He obviously keeps his current job and hope that they can find a new alternate. He can still train a new alternate if they find one (again) at his new regular rate. Joy. DH really doesn't seem to mind.

Meanwhile, the bosses are both so scared DH is going to walk that they managed to get him a raise. You know, the one they wouldn't give at the beginning of the year because no one was getting them, despite the fact that he had been promised it the year before? The one that should have brought him up to $3 an hour below the industry starting range for a comparable position at any other company up there for the position he's been in for 12 years. (It hasn't always been below standard, just the last couple of years). After all, his most recent alternate just walked for that very same reason and into a job that pays industry standard.

Well, I shouldn't be so irritated about this because the net on this raise will be $800 a month. We will still be able to buy a new to us car. We will still be able to put $100 a month in the EF and add an extra $200 to paying off debt. And that is great. It is wonderful. I am very happy about that. I don't want to sound the least bit ungrateful about that because it really does help us out. And DH loves his job and he loves the people he works with even if he is undervalued compared to industry standards, and they know it. Working with people you like and enjoying what you do is incredibly important to DH.

But...

With the promotion it would have been a raise (net) of $2000 a month. Yes, $2000. Net. A month. $500 a month to the EF, $400 a month for a car payment. $1100 a month extra to debt repayment. Dust in the wind.

Maybe more than a hint of bitter.

Today is my blogoversary. I had written this wonderful wildly witty entry and it disappeared into the ether, and I don't have the energy, the memory, or the desire to recreate it, but you all would have been very entertained and it would have offered you a life changing moment. No, not a life changing moment in your life, just one in mine.

Which is what this year has been like for me, one life changing moment after the other. Some were so little I barely noticed them until they built upon each other and suddenly I had some really big things going on in my life. The biggest one of all? Living within our means. Where did that come from? How did we do that? Where did this amazing thing come from? It would have been a thrill ride to read about it. But oops, its gone. So...that was our big life changing moment. Hope you were along to see it as it happened and if not, go back and see how it did. I think there's a time machine around here somewhere...

I guess I'll just write about my day today instead. I went to the doctor, my blood pressure is happy on the cut from 40mg to 20mg on my meds for the last two weeks, so I get to continue on that for a while and come back in July for another check. One more step in my plan to get off it for good.

I also got my flu shot booster and don't need to worry about that again until October. Thyroid meds are doing a good job so I'll stay on that as well.

Other things done today, a trip to storage, a visit to the chiropractor, and driving DH to the airport. Then a wedding shower. It went okay. I had very mixed feelings about going to it. I'm happy for the people getting married, they are both great people.

But the husband is, or rather was, the spouse of a very close friend who died way too young and way too unexpectedly and it feels wrong to think of him as married (or about to be) to another woman. My friend's twin daughters were there and they are very happy and get along well with what will be their new siblings. I was very happy for everyone, but looking at the girls was eerie. They look so much like my friend did as a girl. Still, the two merging families are all so overjoyed. It has been good on both sides for everyone.

I think mostly it just has made me miss my friend. I will visit her grave tomorrow and then I think I will be okay about everything. She was the kind of person who would want everyone to be happy after she was gone and going there and reminding myself of that will help me to stop being a silly goose about it.

Anyway, that was my day.

Today was one of those days where you have a million things to accomplish and are lucky if you even accomplish one. I guess I count myself fortunate that I actually accomplished three things. Even if one of those things was simply emptying the dishwasher. Hey, it was on the list.

We also mostly finished up in Rose's room and took a bunch more stuff to storage as FIL was kind enough to bring his truck out and run DH in with the load. I've been buried in laundry from Rose's room. I don't even know what was dirty and what was clean and never put away. But she knows if I find one thing on the floor its confiscated. She has a her own laundry hamper and a closet she can easily hang things up in, plus a dresser with easy slide drawers. NO excuses whatsoever. If its on the floor it is gone!

I think its going to take me a couple of days to get caught up on laundry, sort out what is too small and needs to be handed down to her older cousin, who she is a head taller than, and what needs to be put away properly. Sigh. I swear I had just done this six months ago and it was nowhere near as bad. How one kid could be so messy is beyond me. I did take away her guitar for a month because I found it out of its case and on the floor.

I don't get where the messy gene is coming from. Even Tobias keeps his room neat most of the time and he's only seven. I think she has a packrat tendancy, maybe got that from MIL and FIL. I dunno.

Aside from that I did manage to get 2 book pages written today and will work on it some more tonight and 3 the day before. I also read book 2 of the Withern Rise trilogy, "Small Eternities" by Michael Lawrence and started the 3rd one, "The Underwood See." I liked the first book and so far the third book more than the second, the second was more of a bridge piece. Necessary, but the less exciting part of the story. Very interested to see how it will turn out.

Didn't really do anything in the financial arena other than balance the checkbook and it actually balanced, always a good. Okay, I guess I did get more than three things accomplished today. But the list still doesn't seem any shorter.

Spent some time online going over stuff with my friend I will be meeting in California at month's end. We are plotting our vacation to waste the least amount of time possible.

I guess that's about it, then.

...but personally, I think it is a stupid quasi-holiday and always have. When I was 6 years old my father told my mother that my 17 year old sister, who had spent the night with a friend, had been in a car accident and she might not live and they had to go to the hospital right then. I decided that day that I have no use for a holiday that would have a man tell his wife that their daughter might be dying when she wasn't. Didn't have much use for my father for awhile after that, either. Some things you just don't joke about, ever.

So obviously, I don't like April Fool's jokes, even just the dumb ones. I have very little tolerance of them. I hope all information remains intact with this blog design joke (or I hope it is a joke)but so far, I still cannot access the first 11 days of my blog and I can't look up my stats page, which is pretty much like taking away a toddler's favorite toy.

I guess this is the one day of the year when I completely lose my sense of humor.

I just went online and ordered 3 books from amazon. This is stupid. I know I'm reacting to the news of having to have another operation by spending more money on books. I suppose it could be worse, I could be reacting to the news by having a mega food binge, something I try not to ever do as a recovered bulimic (of 11.5 years).

After buying the 8 books yesterday I really should not have done this, or at least recognized what was going on. I've read three of them since I bought them yesterday. All hugely good books. The Wave, which I talked about yesterday was incredibly gripping after awhile, a real page turner. Then I read and finished The Girl Who Owned A City by O.T. Nelson, really, really good and I'll give it to my daughter to read since the main main character is 10 years old and a girl. I picked it up for Rose because it looked good but had to read it first, also because it looked good.

But the breaker was a book called A Crack in the Line by Michael Lawrence (I think, it might have been Matthew) which I could not put down at all. I even took it with me to T-ball practice and read it when my son wasn't up at bat. If you like parallel worlds in sci-fi and enjoy reading young adult fiction (which I happen to still love at the ripe old age of 37, mostly because it rarely has swearing in it but also because its often better than the adult stuff and it is also what I write), then it is definitely a book to check out.

And it is the first in a trilogy (Withern Rises) so guess what I went and bought on Amazon? Yes, books 2 and 3 and got side-tracked and bought another unrelated book. So easy to do. I wasn't sure if the 3rd book was out yet, but it was released a week ago, lucky me, so I went for the hardback on that as the paperback was not out yet.

I think I've got this spending reaction nipped in the bud now and hope not to have to report tomorrow that I did something like this again. I have to say I did hold back and not get the two Billie Piper books I wanted, but it wasn't easy.

Sigh. Well, I had my little outpatient procedure today and darn it all but I am going to have to have another surgery. I am so not a happy camper. I guess I can count myself as fortunate it will be a minimally invasive operation instead of the gut you like a fish kind the docs seem so prone to want to do with me. But still no sign of tumors of any kind, so I rejoice in that fact. It will be done inhouse in the office which has two surgery rooms, I will be knocked out, but it won't cost as much as going to hospital or the surgery center. So again, I will count myself as fortunate

It'll knock me down for about a week, but he said after 24 hours I can resume light duties or whatever. I assume that means dishes and laundry but I will do my best to make sure that is all out of the way ahead of time. And I may be unfrugal and just spring for microwave save paper plates and bowls, some plasticware and a bunch of napkins or paper towels to get through the week with. Maybe make up some dinners ahead of time for the freezer, or really be unfrugal and just stock up on Marie Calendar TV dinners.

I'm waiting to see what dates are available. If I can get it done on the 13th or 15th, I'll do it before I go to Disneyland so I'll have 2 full weeks to recover. If not, than I will wait until I come back and do it second week of May.

I will try hard to keep a positive spin on this, but I so hate having surgery. And I'm a bit annoyed at my body for being so useless at times. But it could be so much worse, it really could, has been in the past, this is just a minor repair jobby.

I guess DH's promotion and accompanying raise will have gone into effect just in time to pay for this when we are billed. Another thing I can feel fortunate about. Never having to put a surgery on a credit card again. That is something I wouldn't have been able to say a year ago. But I can say it now.

I made sure before I signed my daughter up for softball for the spring that they would be practicing at her school, which is a mile from our house. Well, now they are saying we have to drive all the way to another school for practice as there were only 5 kids from Rose's school in her age bracket that signed up.

It's 30 miles to the other school from our house and its a long and winding road so it takes about an hour to drive there. With two practices a week that's 120 miles on the road for 2 round trips and 4 hours driving time. I don't want to do that and don't want to pay for the gas to do that.

I had a long talk with Rose and as I see it there are only two options, either she doesn't play or we see if her school has a 4th grade team. Because she does not turn 11 until August we had the option of placing her on the 5th and 6th grade team or the 3rd and 4th grade team. Well, of course she wanted to be with her classmates not her agemates. I don't even know if there is one, and I am trying to track down who I would even ask.

But...neither one of wants to put up with that much time in the car. And on top of that, Tobias is playing t-ball at their school on the same nights that she would be practicing at the other school, at the same time. No chance of running back and forth, no way to do it. DH isn't home enough and my mother has to deal with dad, who is having cataract surgery on Monday. She can't leave him to help me and nor should she. Dad has to be her first priority.

I feel bad for Rose. I know how badly she wanted to play. And Tobias really didn't care about t-ball, he wanted to play soccer. The only reason I didn't sign him up for soccer is because Rose wanted to play softball. Now I wish I'd just signed them both up for soccer, but its too late for that. I think. Maybe I should check. It might be possible as Tobias' team is always little, to get him on. And Rose might be able to get on a team as spring soccer is always less crowded than fall soccer.

I don't know that I could get the money back from baseball. Well, maybe for Rose but I doubt it for T. But I'll have to see.

I missed a couple of days of blogging but I have a good excuse, honest! In the past 3 days I have driven my husband to the airport, had my son turn seven and celebrate at two sets of grandparents' houses, took cupcakes to school, and a family only (the four of us) birthday dinner out at Billy McHale's restaurant.

I don't have any idea if Billy's is a chain or not. I know of two in Washington state. It is a wonderfully charming place. Full of old things, old signs, weird things, very retro. Like on one wall it has a sign for Glass Bottom Boat rides, an antique telephone, a two-handled lumberjack saw, and gas pump from the 1940's, an advertisement for canned meat, 10 cents a can, old neon gas station signs (of the eat here and get gas variety). It's just very unique and has a certain ambiance you can't get anywhere else. It sounds like it could be tacky, but its not.

Our table had a red light over it (there's a different colored bulb at each table, five or six different colors). But the piece de resistance is an elevated train that you can have Happy Birthday or Anniversary written on cardboard along with the person's name(s) and attatched to the flatbed cars and then it runs around the restaurant. Tobias was in heaven! He's beyond train happy. Plus he got a free dessert and the staff sang to him.

And if that wasn't enough to keep me busy, I went on a writing jag. I wrote 72 pages in three nights. I had insomnia on one of them and I got in that mode where the story starts writing itself. A lot of it, most of it actually is for the second book, not the first one, but I've got a lot of stuff thought out now and can go back to the first one. I am very happy with myself right now.

DH and I also went and tried out laptops. Well, I tried them out and he watched me. I typed on every single one they had on display at Best Buy. It was weird how different keyboards can feel when you are typing 70 words per minute. I settled on the one I liked the best, which turned out to be a $649 Toshiba, not top of the line, but Toshiba's a work horse. And the keyboard felt right to me. So I wrote down all the information and I'm going to save my plasma money for a new laptop when I get back from vacation.

The Toshiba laptop I have now is still functional but it is old. Its a Tecra 8000. It is very heavy, and I got it off e-bay for $150, but then had to spend another $150 because it didn't have a legitimate copy of Windows on it. It had been part of a network, so network software had been used. Not something that was revealed by the seller. But anyway, I've had it almost a year and its okay, but I don't like the size of the keys, they are a little small for my fingers, so cause some stumbling around. I also don't like the placement of the shift key next to the delete key, cause guess which one I hit too often?

I really like the layout of the other keyboard, the keys are a bit bigger and there is no awkwardness at all. DH is all for it. And he'll take over the one I'm using now, because his is really old, running Windows 95. Mine is Windows XP but only cause we upgraded it when we bought the legitimate software. So it isn't as ancient, but...the battery holds no charge and you can't get replacement ones and I would take my computer everywhere to write if I had a functional battery.

Half a dozen places around here offer free wireless access, and we're in the boonies.

Anywho, we made a decision about renting a storage facility for at least six months. We have way too much stuff in the house to ever get it organized so we are going to rent a 10X10 unit and use it to sort in and store until we know what we are getting rid of and what we are keeping. I am so sick of an overstuffed house, I want it to be clean and organized, which is hard when you are tripping over toys all the time. Left over from the affluenza days.

My niece gave me some clothes for Rose to try. She has to upgrade now that she is a teacher so a lot of stuff gets handed down. Rose is allergic to wool and in this bag were 3 wool sweaters that are part cashmere or part angora, one is Gap and the other two are Ralph Lauren. She said she didn't care what I did with them if they didn't fit Rose, so I am going to put them on e-bay. They are lighterweight sweaters, more spring sweaters than a winter ones and are in very good condition. There are also some pants that are cut too low for Rose and some jeans that I may put on e-bay as well.

I think that about covers what I have been doing. Oh, and in my spare(?) time, I am reading Command Decision by Elizabeth Moon (latest in Vatta's War series, excellent military sci-fi) and watching season 5 of 24.

DH got a call from his alternate this morning. She's the one who works his job on his two weeks off. She just got a job offer with another company up there. Same position, wage range starts $12 an hour higher than what DH is making now, and ends $15 more per hour than what DH is making now.

Well, his company told them that the only way to increase their wage range was to find out what other companies were paying for the same position. And the only way to do that was to apply to other companies and get salary ranges. I guess they can't gripe about it when an employee finds out they are being massively underpaid and decides to go with the company that pays better.

There is no way his company can match that. At best they might, if they tried real hard, allow the range to go up another $9 an hour. But I don't think they would.

Anyway, she's taking the job and leaving. So now what? That's all I keep thinking. Does DH get stuck there because they don't have an alternate for him and there's no one at all to do his job when he is promoted? I don't trust the company not to pull a fast one. I just don't. Not one little bit.

DH says if they do that, and don't promote him in May like they promised, he's out of there. He'll be able to hire on with one of the other companies at or above (most likely above) what he is making now. Because they need people and will be hiring through the end of summer.

DH is perfectly willing to train someone to do the current job. He's trained every one of his alternates (at no additional pay, I might add), so that's no big deal. He can walk anyone through it while he's doing the new job, too. But I don't know. I just have no faith in his company right now.

They have been good to us for years but this last one, not so much. It's a struggle because DH really, really, really likes his job, likes his company, likes the people he works with and that all is worth a lot. But being taken advantage of, not high on my list of good qualities for a job to have. Or his.

Meanwhile, he may end up working extra weeks, which will mean more pay but way less time at home. The last time he lost an alternate he was doing 3 weeks on and 1 week off for 8 months. Not easy on the kids at all. I'm used to it but they never do get used to it.

I just really, really hope that his company doesn't pull the rug out from under us. They promise so much. I am so not fond of their backpedalling when it happens. It frustrates me no end. One could go crazy thinking about this, but I'm no Scarlett, I can't think about it tomorrow because I'm thinking about it now. Argh! One could go mad thinking in circles like this. Hopefully sending it off into cyberspace like this will give me peace of mind. For a while anyway.

DH lost his cell phone today. He dropped it in the parking lot at Lowe's when he was buying a new dryer vent flap to replace the one that melted when the old dryer was not shutting off and ran all night one time.

Fortunately someone found it and turned it into Lowe's. They started calling the names in it and got ahold of DH's mom, who then called my mom, who lives 6 blocks from Lowe's and she went and fetched it. So all's well that ends well and thank goodness for good Samaritans. See, this is what happens when you find a wallet with $500 cash in it at WalMart and call the very relieved person on the driver's license in it. Karma comes back around to you, or your guardian angel is watching your back, or you're just plain lucky. I like to think of it as all three.

Did I mention in my last post what a lovely day today was? It got up to 72 degrees in town, and 68 at home and it was bright and sunny. Last week at this time it was snowing. Go figure. MSN weather said it was going to rain all day and be 50 degrees. Guess you can see why I use google weather most.

Anyway, it was finally a nice enough day for a long enough time when DH was actually home, that we took down the outdoor Christmas lights. I bet I made the neighbors happy. Not that I really care what they think anyway if I have a few light up deer and some other standees in my yard when their idea of lawn ornamentation is white trash junk yard deals and six cars in various states of do they run or not. Well, or what the other neighbors think either. We're quiet, good neighbors, pay our association dues on time every year and keep the weeds mowed. I figure if it bugs them they can tell me and no one ever has.

But I am glad to have them down because it means I can now get to weeding flowerbeds and garden beds if the weather stays clear. I am so ready for spring. Today was a gorgeous taste of it and I want more.

I did some poking around and I have crocus, daffodils, tulips, and hyacinths all coming up, which usually doesn't happen up here in the mountains until April. I may have blooms in 3 weeks instead of the end of April. Oh, and my primroses are blooming, very pretty. Of course, I found my first slug today, too. Ick. Still pretty small though, less than an inch long. I hope they aren't bad this year and that all the cold killed the eggs, but I fear they may be nasty.

I am raring to go on veggies, but from past experience I don't dare plant until April and even then sparingly. We've had a hard frost as late as April 15th and I don't fancy losing seedlings. But I can at least plant snow peas on the 1st.

We're going to have to do some serious fence repair or replacement this summer. The old fence is just rotting and it was so poorly installed by the previous owners. I'm surprised its lasted eight years as it is. Just another thing to put on the list. We have a wants list and a needs list, and fence goes on the needs list because we live off the highway and I don't need my kids wandering out of the backyard and up there and getting themselves run down, especially as we are on a dead man's curve sort of area.

I really hope they hurry up and get the funding for that project at DH's work because I have so many things that need doing and we can't start until it comes through.

It was a no spend day. I didn't leave the house. I wrote 30 pages. Talked to DH on the phone for an hour. Got some rather good salary news but until it is signed on the dotted line I won't really allow myself to believe it.

If, if, if everything that he is currently being told is true, we aren't going to have to worry about money the same way again.

Obviously we will have to worry about it to some extent as in, where does this go and what to do with that. But...our debt problems will begin to vanish rapidly and we'll be out of credit card debt faster than I'd ever dreamed.

Oh, I want to shout it from the rooftops, but I'm afraid that if I do, it will disappear. So I am being quietly optimistic without 100% believability. It is the same company after all is said and done.

I went into my blog settings and updated my age and changed the color of the header, which I like to do every few months. Change the color that is, not the age, LOL.

My birthday was kind of a non-event, but that's okay. I ordered my present and it should arrive tomorrow. I sprang for the one day shipping. I figured that was my reward for doing nothing about me today.

The kids want a cake, but I'll wait until the day after Valentine's day and get a marked down cake or cupcakes. That's what I usually do if I don't feel like baking.

I drove DH to the airport and he's on his way back to Alaska. He is going to have to start attending an early morning meeting every day. It's 30 minutes of overtime every day for 14 days, so neither one of us is complaining. This is in preparation for the promtion, so it looks like its for real or they would not have him attending these meetings.

I am going to go see the cranial sacral therapy guy tomorrow. I hope this is a step towards wellness.

I wrote four more pages last night, which puts me up to 46 and I am going to write for at least an hour tonight before going to sleep. That goal is really moving right along for me now. I just wish I had more time, but I'll have all school hours on Wednesday and I have a lot figured out now so I may get a couple of good chapters out. Here's hoping.

I guess that is about it for today. Not, too exciting, at the moment.

I had to go down to the DMV today to renew my driver's license. It was $25 for a five year license. Ouch. Last time I had to buy one it was only $16. The wait was forever and those employees had their heads in the clouds, couldn't care less that they had a mile long line of people, they were going to take their own sweet time.

Anyway, I did that while DH took the Blazer to Les Schwab and got the flat tire fixed. It was only a patch, so it was free, thank goodness.

We also spent $25.37 on lunch out and $5 tip at our favorite Mexican restaurant. And $20 for gas.

There were some more purchases made tonight but I have to get the receipts from DH. He took the kids to buy birthday presents for the boy/girl twins who have a party tomorrow. And he picked up a new belt and some deodorant. I have enough female deoderant samples that I shant need to buy it for at least a year.

It's been a long day, I did not sleep last night more than 3 hours and I have been little miss Judy Attitudy all day long, but only in my own head. I look forward to waking up tomorrow refreshed and back to my old positive nature, even if it means hitting the Excedrin PM. I certainly have the headache to go with the need to sleep.

So no midnight or after entries from me tonight. Oh, on the bright side of the no sleep thing, I did manage to write 10 pages last night, so I did get something out of it. I'm still too sleep deprived to know whether they are any good or not yet, though. I'll read them through tomorrow. But that is 36 pages for the year, now I just need to multiply that by 10 to reach my 2007 goal.

It is my birthday on Monday. I will be 37. I like my birthday as I share it with Abraham Lincoln. I don't remember much about seven but the years I turned 17 and 27 have been incredibly good years in my life so I have high hopes that my luck will follow through on this.

I don't much believe in numerology or anything, but I do have to think that the years that have a seven in my age also coincide with having a seven in that year, as 2007 does, and with seven also being a sacred number to God, well, there's got to be some real goodness in all that, right? I was also born in a year with a seven, 1970. So I kind of have a thing about it. Maybe I generate my own luck through my belief. I wouldn't put it past me.

Sleep deprived ramblings, good thing its free cause you get what you pay for. Night folks.

Okay, I'm a little overly chatty today, this being my 5th entry, but it was kind of a big day.

DH got a call today from his old employer from 11 years ago and they want to do two phone interviews with him tomorrow. I'm not sure if it means anything but he might at least be able to get a job offer in writing with a salary he can use to get a better rate of pay at work. It wasn't like he was expecting this phone call at all.

I don't think he really wants to work in town, he likes his current job, just doesn't feel adequately compensated right now.

It would also be starting our medical all over again and I'm not sure if I want to do that in the middle of this kidney thing. COBRA's are expensive, we had to do that when I was pregnant with Rose. Not fun.

I don't know what to make of it at all. I'd like to have him home every night, have paid vacations and paid sick leave that you can cash out if you don't use it all again, but the potential of his April promotion is so much more, they would really have to bring a very high salary to the table. But he left his old job with an excellent reputation and its possible they could give him whatever he asks for. They are kind of desperate to fill positions right now.

April is just 2 months away. I do not want him to jump the gun so close to it going off. It's very confusing.

But he'll give the interviews tomorrow and we'll go from there. No use storing up worry now for future use.

Found out some more details on the car wreck yesterday. The person who died was the passenger in the innocent driver's car. And both the one racing car and the innocent truck caught fire, not just one car.

The man who died was 62 and had just come out of retirement to help the driver take over his old business. So sad.

The at fault driver was airlifted to Harborview and is in critical condition.

I drove over that section of road today. You can see the scorch marks from the fire on the pavement. The more I find out about this accident, the more grateful I am that I chose another route yesterday.

So, my kidneys are acting up and I'm going to have to get an x-ray as regular doctor thinks there is more going on than just a simple infection. Because they are recurrent. I'm of the mind that I just have to be on antibiotics longer than 2 weeks. Give me 5 weeks and it'll kill those bacteria suckers. They're resistant, what does he expect after all these years of treating them? So an x-ray, but so far no glow in the dark juice and being run through the giant Lifesaver.

Of course, I may be in denial because I really don't want my life turned upside down again by another medical crisis. I am so done with that. I mean, the insurance is relatively decent now, but still...I do not want anymore hospital bills, anymore surgeries, anymore bits of me taken out than have been. True, what's one kidney? Just a spare part anyway, but still, I'm attatched. I've lost enough odds and ends already.

I used to joke that the only things left that they could take out without replacing were a kidney, a spleen and part of my liver. Guess I shouldn't tempt fate that way, should I now?

I mean, I didn't have a clue when they went in for other stuff that they'd find a big honking tumor growing through my appendix, or a year after that my gall bladder would be 90% dead and the remaining 10% diseased. I knew stuff was wrong with the gall bladder because I was turning yellow and couldn't do anything and was having nasty attacks and they noticed it was "a bit odd" during the first surgery but it never occurred to me that it was mostly a dead organ sitting there.

So now with the kidney, I'm either going to be in complete and utter denial or I'm going to go in the opposite direction and completely freak out and think there is a tumor pressing into the kidney and that is the problem. I'm trying to sit here and be numbly in the middle until next week when they take the x-ray.

I'm more worried about what will happen to our financial health if this is serious than I am about myself. Which I recognize as being tweaked but there you go. I'm tweaked. Well, maybe its simply a coping mechanism. My daughter is now the age I was when my mother had cancer. That brings up all sort of issues with my own kids. Or would do if I told them what was going on.

We can't take out another loan, I won't charge anything on a credit card, and I can't visit the bank of MOM because of the fact that she already took out that mortgage for us for the last go around and we'll be paying it off forever and a half. It's probably nothing serious. But...what if it is? What am I going to do?

Sell the house, maybe. Pay off all our debts and the mortgage on our own house, go move back in with mom and work on paying off that mortgage.

Then there's the whole Dad thing. Dad has cataracts, early to middle stage dementia, and MS. Mom's overwhelmed. But coping. If there is one thing my mother can do it is soldier on no matter what. I don't want to make her have to cope with me, too. Not right now.

Well, I'll muddle through, I always do. I will bend, I will not break because that is what I do.

Anyway, probably too much information. But thanks for listening. I needed that.

I went to the doctor this morning and left with 2 prescriptions and an x-ray appointment for next week. I picked up the medication for $35. I was going to go to Costco today but I couldn't as I got stuck in the aftermath of a horrific car accident. The KING vultures, I mean the TV helicopter people, were circling overhead for at least an hour, so those of you in Seattle may see this on your local news.

Two kids were racing at 80 mph, and what usually happens on a busy 5 lane main highway when 16 year olds do something stupid, happened. One of them hit another car. Only worse. One of the cars ended up on fire. And they said somebody died, but not the driver from the innocent person's car. If that boy lives he is going to have a lifetime of scars to remember his actions by, not to mention a death on his heart.

I saw the wreckage. I smelled the gasoline and the acrid air. I don't know how anyone lived. Through the grace of God and the good samaritans that got everyone out before the paramedics came. I can't tell you how awful it really was to see it. Enough to make me start crying. When I see things like this I react with a mother's heart. I sent up a prayer for their families.

I'm glad I wasn't there earlier when it happened. I easily could have been. That's the way I usually drive to town when I go to the doctor, but I felt unusually strongly like going a different route today. More than that, really. Almost a refusal to go that way. Past experience has taught me to always listen to that feeling. I really don't like it when that happens and then I find out something like this later. Spooks me out for days afterwards. But better that then the alternative.

So needless to say, I didn't go to Costco today. Maybe tomorrow.