It's been a week since the emergency laser eye surgery and while it didn't seem like a big deal, it seems to have really sapped my strength. I was exhausted the first few days afterwards. I am having a hard time adjusting to the impaired vision. The spots are always there. Even when I close my eyes, if there is a light on, I can still see the big one against my eyelid, which makes it hard to get a rest from it during the day unless I cover my eye.
At least it goes away in darkness. At least I don't see it in my dreams. My vision has been bad for several years, but my glasses were always enough to correct it. The idea that these spots may be permanent unless I get another surgery to remove the vitreous and replace it with a solution of saline is very disheartening. Especially since there is no guarantee that new floaters won't develop.
I've dealt with so many health issues my entire adult life, but I always had the ability to escape into a book or into my writing. Now even that is tarnished. I can't read for long periods, because the right eye has to work too hard. It is better with large print books and zooming on the computer screen, but my eyes get so tired so fast trying to work around the floaters despite it. It kind of takes some of the joy from my life and makes me feel defeated.
I think I always took my eyesight for granted, even if it wasn't that good, it was good enough. Now...I don't know. It's like having a little bug flying in front of me constantly and nothing can make it go away. I just can't imagine having this for the rest of my life.
Usually I can look on the bright side and be optimistic, but with this, the fight has gone right out of me. I've never felt so overwhelmed before. I just want it all to go away, but I am afraid it never, ever will. It's the first time in my life where I've ever felt like giving up and it is a horrible feeling. And I'm helpless to do anything about it. Just wait and see. Or not see.
Surfacing, Drowning
May 20th, 2017 at 07:03 am
May 20th, 2017 at 10:34 am 1495272891
May 20th, 2017 at 10:42 am 1495273344
May 20th, 2017 at 11:05 am 1495274730
It is tiring and depressing, that's for sure.
Would a second opinion from specialist help?
May 20th, 2017 at 12:17 pm 1495279061
May 20th, 2017 at 12:30 pm 1495279835
May 20th, 2017 at 04:27 pm 1495294038
May 20th, 2017 at 06:16 pm 1495300613
May 20th, 2017 at 08:19 pm 1495307944
May 20th, 2017 at 09:30 pm 1495312217
May 21st, 2017 at 03:54 pm 1495378460
Most Kindle books have a text-to-speech option so you can listen to them. The computer voice is not as nice as a human voice, but if you own the book, it's free, and as you get used to it, you notice it less.