I live, write, and garden in the PNW with my husband of 28 years, disabled daughter, adult son, and my 84-year-old mother. We have paid off $250,000.00 worth of debt (if you include the interest) in the last fifteen years and as of 6/12/2020 are 100% DEBT FREE!!!!I have been bugging my parents to make out their will and write down their wishes for end of life care and treatment for about five years now. I am so glad they are now in the process of doing it. I have known what they want to do these years, but I wanted it written down because I have a feeling one of my sisters would fight me to go against what my parents want.
They both want DNR's, organ donation, and burial by cremation. My father is in the early stages of dementia and has MS. If mom goes first, and he no longer can function on his own, he wants to be placed in a nursing home in eastern WA so he can be near his younger brothers and sisters. Of course, he wouldn't be near his kids or grandkids that way, but if its what he wants, than that is what I'll do. I don't really think he'll outlast my mother though. He's five years older than her and she's healthy as a horse.
Mom's mom had alzheimer's disease so she has been very specific in what she wants for herself, too. She's made me her medical and her financial power of attorney, and I would be Dad's but only if she dies before he does or becomes incompetent. Which is fine.
I am a little leary of the fact that she is also making me executor of the will, though. I'm not sure I should be doing both. But I'm also the only one of her daughters with any sense (her words), so she wouldn't trust the other two to do it. Which she's right on the one sister, but not the other one.
It seems like an awful lot of responsibility for me to take on, I am only 36, but my parents are older. Mom was 30 and dad was 35 when I was born. And someone has to do it, and I'd be the only one willing, I think.
I guess I should be grateful they are finally doing this and realize that I will find the reserves in myself to do this. My parents have always had more faith in me than my sisters because I never ran off and did anything stupid (Mom's words again). Ha! I just never got caught running off and doing something stupid. Okay, and that was only mildly stupid comparatively.
Okay, I'm rambling now, so I'll just end this here. I guess I'll put this under goals, since getting my parents to get their will and other stuff in order has been my goal for the last five years.
Planning for the End
June 9th, 2006 at 07:40 am
June 9th, 2006 at 02:31 pm 1149859884
I too, have a sister difficulty..........I know she is going to be horrible to deal with when mom dies. Mom is working to close up any gaps in her paperwork, so I will have the least problems, but we both know my sister!
What I have learned so far: Even tho we thought we had talked & prepared as much as we could........HA. We didn't know the half of it. Keep talking, learning and researching now when you have all your marbles. After the death of a parent, even a couple marbles are hard to come by.
June 9th, 2006 at 04:01 pm 1149865318
June 10th, 2006 at 07:18 am 1149920310