I decided to make a proper entry in answer to some comments left on my last post about my medical debt, because it just got too long to be a comment.

No, the hospital will not negotiate any further. As it is, my parents put their house up for collateral against this debt because mine wasn't worth that amount of money. If I fail to pay on the debt my parents would have to so it is something I have to be very conscientious about.

I have never been one to walk away from my debt, no matter how tempting or how much easier it would have made my life to do so. And it will get paid, either over the course of the next twenty odd years or when my parents die and I inherit the house and sell it. Even if the house is sold for medical care the mortgage would be paid off first as the oldest debt and then I'd just pay back the surviving parent free of interest. It is more likely they will die before I can pay it off since Dad is 72 or 73 (can't ever remember if he's 5.5 years older than Mom or 4.5) and Mom is nearly 68. But that's obviously not the option I prefer! I want my folks around as long as possible.

My parents wanted to cash out their IRA and pay it and just have me pay them $1000 a month interest free until the remainder of the debt was paid down, since they have enough in CD's to live off the interest plus the thousand, but since their IRA was made from a never taxed pension the penalty would have been enormous. So that didn't happen.

Mom says that when Dad dies she can then cash out the IRA without penalty and pay it off and then me pay her the rest of what is owed interest free. Another route I don't really want to go.

Well, it'll get paid and I'm feeling better today about it. Yesterday was just really hard.

I received the statement for my medical debt balance today. I am now at $146,322.80 left to pay off from a beginning balance of $155,000. Out of the last payment $702.13 went to interest and $208.24 went to principal. Well, at least principal has finally hit the $200 point. It seemed like that day would never come. I am grateful this debt is at 5.75% and that at least progress is being made now, no matter how little. Of course, when I see that YTD interest has been $4227.57 it makes me feel awful.

I know this debt was a necessary debt. I know that I am lucky to be alive today. I am grateful that the insurance did cover some of the three and a half year ordeal and that the hospital cut the remaining $310,000 in half. But some days when I see that balance and how much is wasted on interest it makes me want to cry. It is hard. I get so angry at my body for betraying me the way it did, for not staying healthy and strong.

It is overwhelming. It makes me want to scream. Or punch my hand through the wall. Or some other destructive thing like go on a shopping spree with a credit card. I won't do that. But the fact that I want to is a major red flag.

I try very hard to maintain a positive outlook in my life. Some days it is obviously easier to do so. This isn't one of them.

I deposited $20.50 into the vacation fund today. That brings the new balance in that account to $352.00. I have $348.00 to go to reach my goal of $700 by end of July.

I am going to take my aluminum cans to the recycler on Wednesday and add that in to the vacation fund as well. It will probably only be a few dollars, though, even though the hamper is full of crushed cans. I wish I lived in a state that gave five cents a can like Oregon.

I recieved $5.00 in my paypal account today from a survey I took yesterday. I transferred it to my CU and it will end up in the vacation account when it arrives there.

My last mortgage payment has now been posted to my account bringing the total still owed down to $34,048.11. It will be good to see that first four turn into a three next month. It always feels like a little victory when that happens, and of course it will be a big victory when that three turns into a two but that is a ways to go yet. Slowly but surely it comes down and I get that much closer to having full title on my house again. I do look forward to that day.

Well, so far so good. I have managed to use up two boxes of fish, one filets and one sticks and one box of chicken nuggets from the freezer. They were all taking up a lot of space and were only partial boxes. Now lest you think my shopping habits have been really bad, these were all homemade versions of fast food items that were in big Tupperware freezer containers.

I have also managed to use up half a head of cabbage close to the edge and a head of lettuce rapidly approaching the point of no return. I didn't make it to the farm today to buy the strawberries but I will have to buy milk and bread tomorrow so will buy the flat of berries then. I think I have enough eggs to make it to next Friday as well without buying anymore from the farm.

Oh, wait, you know I am getting lazy again and forgetting. I am going to start a loaf of bread going in the bread machine tomorrow before I head to town. I don't need to buy bread, I have just gotten into that mindset again.

I will be helping my mother out a bit. She still has walking pnuemonia and needs me to go grocery shopping for her, otherwise I wouldn't be going to town. And since I will be in town I will gas up at Costco, pick up my refill on my thyroid medication, and purchase my monthly CD. No not that kind of CD, I wish! That would be my monthly music CD. Rose has put in a request for something by Rihanna, so I'll get the one with Unfaithful on it. That song is so pretty even if it is pretty sad. I think it has S.O.S on it, too, which is quite upbeat.

I don't care that much this month, but next month, July's purchase will be one I've been waiting for, the new Kelly Clarkson. Yes, I am hopelessly a pop junkie. But I watched her new single Never Again on youtube and she is just getting better and better. The trick is going to be waiting until July 1st when she comes out the last week of June. But my limit is one CD a month., so I'll do it. That's my piddly small allowance, but its what I want and does not take up a ton of room so that's okay.

Today was the weekly deposit of $10 to ING. Along with the 12 cents of interest from last month this brings my little savings account to $82.70.

I rolled coin today and I have a total of $18 to deposit tomorrow. I never made it to the bank to deposit the $5.50 last time I rolled coin so that is now part of the $18. It will be added to my vacation fund account. There is also a $5 pinecone deposit that was made that I have not added in to the total.

$308.50 Old balance
18.00 rolled coin
+ 5.00 survey
--------
$331.50 New balance

$368.50 left to save to meet my goal of $700, so almost to the halfway point. Lodging is paid for already and has a full kitchen. Some food we will bring with us and some we will buy on the island. We can only take certain items across the border, but we know where a good grocery store is just outside of Victoria. We will have one meal out per day and visit at least five attractions. Just under two months left to save it up.

I just finished my fill-in purchasing at the grocery store and I am now going on a two week challenge to eat from my pantry, freezer and fridge. I am only allowed to buy milk, bread, and fresh fruit and veggies, but only if I run out of all fresh fruits and all veggies, not just because the ones in the bin don't look enticing at the moment.

I have several cans of pineapple and peaches so I'm going to try to just keep the fruit purchase to fresh berries which go on sale at the local farm on Thursday, which I set aside money for today. That fruit purchase will get me through the next two weeks as I will buy and process a full flat of strawberries for $13.

I have plenty of cauliflower, broccoli, asparagus, summer squash, zucchini, red cabbage, kohlrabi and green beans, so veggies should not even be an issue. Bread and milk I just don't have enough space to purchase ahead of time, really.

There's lots of chicken, fish, and beef in the freezer and plenty of eggs in the fridge. My main goal is to fight against buying stuff in the grocery store just because it "looks good", because that way lies certain grocery budget destruction. This I know. And it is what I am fighting against.

I put nine gallons of gas in the car today at $3.19 a gallon. The last time we got gas it was at $3.32 so that is a welcome drop. I have $16 left on my gas cash card. I will probably have to add more next week.

Our 401K statement came in the mail today. The new balance is $47,276. This is an increase of $3,045 for the quarter. We are getting so close to the $50,000 mark, I can taste it. I don't know if that will happen this year or not, but I think it will definitely happen by this time next year. Depends on the ups and downs of the market, as everything else does.

A bit of money out this weekend. On Friday we had the oil change for 47.56, plus a few other minor maintenance jobbies thrown in. Got an estimate on what needs to be done before we go to Victoria at the end of July and it will cost $246 or so. Oh, joy.

I had a P.T. appointment for my shoulder and that was $50 out of pocket with another appointment scheduled for next Wednesday.

And the jamboree for the t-ball season was also Friday, and it went pretty well. Tobias started batting left 3 games ago and he could really whack it out of there. We never thought to check him for batting left. Rose bats better left, too, but it just never occurred. Neither child has a dominant left hand, they both write naturally with their right hands, but my dad's a lefty and I do a ton of stuff with my left hand even though I write with my right. I always have done so much with the left. I always thought it was my strings training that made it so dextrous, but its genetic as well.

Yesterday was more cleaning and organizing and sorting and storing and on and on ad infinitum. Or so it seems. You can definitely tell stuff is gone now. Whole rooms look almost sparse and I am liking it. The recycle guys are going to love us come Tuesday morning.

Today has been yard work on top of yard work on top of yard work and it isn't done. So I suppose I should get back off the computer and back to work.