I live, write, and garden in the PNW with my husband of 27 years, disabled daughter, college-aged son, and my 84-year-old mother. We have paid off $250,000.00 worth of debt (if you include the interest) in the last fifteen years and as of 6/12/2020 are 100% DEBT FREE!!!!Is it normal to feel exhausted after losing a parent? I am barely doing anything. Just the bare minimum to keep the kids going to school and fed and throwing in a batch of laundry. Otherwise all I really want to do is sleep. I am getting plenty of sleep, but I still just feel like I need more. I'm not even particularly sad anymore the majority of the time, just sort of bland. I have to force myself to eat, because it'll be two in the afternoon and I'll realize I've not eaten anything all day.
I was never like this when my grandparents died. I was sad, but I wasn't useless. Dad and I weren't even that close for most of my life. I feel like I should be bouncing back faster than I am. Grief can be so strange. My mother seems to be handling things so much better than me and they were married for 54 years. She always has been very strong.
My son has his first orchestra concert tonight so I have to force myself to go out and be the proud mother. I would never disappoint him by not going. Maybe being around other people, happy people, will help.
I am so glad finances are on autopilot right now. I will have to do some stuff on payday Friday (or at least on Monday), and I think I can pull out of my funk long enough to do so. Life goes on and bills must be paid.
I am so Tired
January 25th, 2012 at 10:41 pm
January 25th, 2012 at 10:58 pm 1327532314
Still thinking of you and hoping you get through the worst of it soon!
January 25th, 2012 at 11:06 pm 1327532795
January 25th, 2012 at 11:20 pm 1327533611
January 26th, 2012 at 12:21 am 1327537306
Be good to yourself and try to take it easy.
January 26th, 2012 at 12:53 am 1327539239
January 26th, 2012 at 01:51 am 1327542691
January 26th, 2012 at 02:36 am 1327545370
Remember...you have just had surgery, youve been sick, you have MUCH on that plate. Dont expect much more than day to day, one foot in front of the other, breathe in, breathe out.
{{hugs}}
January 26th, 2012 at 04:21 am 1327551713
January 26th, 2012 at 05:01 am 1327554093
Eat good things and be kind to yourself.
January 26th, 2012 at 01:11 pm 1327583487
I kept one of his motorcycle shirts and his cowboy hat and although it's not my norm or style to wear either of those things I did wear them when I missed him most. I carry a personal item of his in my purse and when I feel sad about his not being around I get it out and look at his creativity. That and I listen again to the music from his funeral which I worked hard to put together at the time of his death and I allow myself time to mourn and cry for him whenever the feelings overwhelm. I think of his personality and find ways to celebrate his individuality and strong points. We had had that on and off again relationship that sometimes siblings do. Surprises even me how much I miss him.
You are in my prayers. Take the time you need.
January 26th, 2012 at 08:05 pm 1327608303
Please allow yourself time to heal...go at your own pace, and heal in your own way. Take care.
January 27th, 2012 at 08:59 pm 1327697973
I lost both my parents, and while I wasn't close to either anymore, I was tired ... some of it was the feeling that your generation is next up. No older family member to point to that you will outlive.
January 29th, 2012 at 02:54 am 1327805645
I have not lost a parent, but I have lost beloved pets, and all my grandparents, whom I was close with.
Losing a parent or spouse is one of the most traumatic things you can go through. I'm not saying this to upset you, but it's ok to feel weird or out of sorts, blue or angry. As others have pointed out, even if you weren't close, their death could symbolize a lot more....
I know this sounds pathetic, but when my last cat, Sitka died, I was really a basket case. I'd been hoping to delay getting another cat for at least a few months so I could travel and not have to worry about an animal, but I was so miserable, it wasn't 6 days before I was looking for another cat, becus that was the only thing that I felt could ease my pain.
It was harder, I think, becus I live alone and there weren't other distractions, either human or otherwise, to keep me from thinking about her.