I'm starting to think that insomnia is just part and parcel with being in your 40's. I wish it would stop. The C-pap machine has done nothing to improve my sleep. In fact, I think it makes it worse because it is so uncomfortable to wear I then can't fall asleep. I have such a mild form of apnea I don't think it much matters whether I use the machine or not. Sleep doctor has said as much, though he wants me to keep trying.
I think several months of trying is pretty much enough. I don't think it's going to get better. I've been through 3 different masks. I just can't sleep with stuff on my face or strapped around my head. Not for more than an hour or so and then I move and I wake up because it pulls at my hair or my skin or something.
We are almost done with homeschooling. I am so ready to be done. I just want an irresponsible summer. Well, you know, as irresponsible as you can be with children and livestock and a garden. LOL But it would be nice not to have to actually think for a while.
One of my major stressors removed itself last night. Turns out SIL was blowing things way out of proportion and MIL does not actually think DH should come to Wisconsin. And doesn't expect him to. So that releases us from having to suddenly come up with $2000. So I can go back to my original plans for upcoming monies and we don't have to worry about being so freaking tight with it for the next few months. And I won't feel pressured to take on more debt due to family obligations. And I can fund all the funds that I had planned to fund and keep all the funds that are in the funds in the funds. Yeah, that was probably not the best sentence, but I think you all can follow it.
Once homeschool is done on Friday I am going to work on getting us back to eating paleo-ish. Or at least very controlled carb-like. I have been so overwhelmed these last several weeks and I am feeling the bad diet choices in every cell in my body. It's very yucky feeling. I want to go back to feeling the way I did before. I actually even brought Cheetos in to the house this week. The food of death, destruction, and decay, not to mention massive allergies. This is how I get. I don't make good food choices when I am tired and stressed and overwhelmed.
And Kiki, I'm sorry if you thought I was snapping at you in my venting post comments. I didn't mean it that way. It was more of a why didn't I think of that I'm an idiot thought process going on in my head. Actually, everyone, I am slightly off my balance right now, so if I appear to grump at you at all, try not to take it to heart. I'm more grumping at life in general so it just comes out that way. I promise I will be one of the shiny happy people next week. Assuming I sleep sometime soon.
Another Night with Insomnia
June 13th, 2013 at 01:33 pm
June 13th, 2013 at 01:51 pm 1371127878
June 13th, 2013 at 11:20 pm 1371162004
June 14th, 2013 at 04:50 am 1371181838
I, too, suffer from insomnia. I need to start exercising again to be really, really tired when I go to bed. And to loose weight!
June 14th, 2013 at 05:31 am 1371184317