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Sometimes Funerals are Extra Complicated

July 2nd, 2011 at 02:30 am

This week has just really seemed to drag on for me. I miss school. It really makes the days go faster. I've had some kind of stomach thing going on for two days running and I wish it would go away. I made a big pot of chicken soup because at least it's as easy coming back up as it is going down and it's a cheap thing to not feel too bad about losing.

This morning we went to the kids' great grandmother's funeral (DH's paternal grandmother). She died last Friday, so it was a closed casket thing. It wasn't too long, though it felt like it. I don't know, I always get squirmy at funerals, especially when the person wasn't particularly nice and everyone is saying all these sweet things about them.

This woman never accepted a single person who married into the family as no one was good enough (though this did not apply to the children born because they had her blood). I hated the way she treated my mother-in-law. She wasn't nice to me or my SIL's husband (now ex) either, and forget her accepting her granddaughter's wife.

She also took her daughter's side when her daughter's husband physically abused my son at a family picnic when he was little and got really mad at me (who wasn't even there) because my husband filed a police report. I'm sorry, but when you choke a four year old child around the neck and have to be peeled off it is not "playing" and he did so "mean it."

But I didn't particularly care what her opinion was about me and after her husband died (who was a wonderful man), I stopped visiting them and just sent DH and the kids). She treated my kids all right and that was enough for me.

Anyway, I only went to support my FIL and because the kids wanted to go. If DH had been home, it would have been for him, too. He loved his grandmother even if he hated her behavior, but quite frankly I think he was glad not to have to go. If he'd come home we would have lost $4000 between lost wages and a last minute airline ticket. We can't afford that with a surgery coming up and FIL was fine with him not going. We'll visit the gravesite when DH gets home.

We didn't go to the family thing afterwards, one because of my stomach, and two because without DH there it is too hard to be constantly vigilant that DH's nasty uncle doesn't get anywhere near my kids.

I guess funerals bring up a lot of emotions in me, too. Hopefully there won't be anymore for a long time.

2 Responses to “Sometimes Funerals are Extra Complicated”

  1. Petunia 100 Says:
    1309576529

    Your dh's uncle choked your son?!!! Nasty man is right.

  2. baselle Says:
    1309578791

    My condolences. Sounds though that this woman was a super defender of her tribe against everybody else. Useful for the 11th century, not useful for the 21st. Funerals are often revisionist history or just plain lip service.

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