This is My Rant

April 4th, 2007 at 02:11 pm

A girl at my daughter's school is pregnant. This is a K-6. This girl is only 12 years old, 1.5 years older than Rose. She was pulled out of the sex education courses offered by the school because her parents were offended by it. That is their right, of course, but she didn't know anything because her parents told her nothing and now she's pregnant.

For pete's sake, mothers and fathers talk to your kids about sex before junior high! Swallow your embarrassment and do it. Start at 8 or 9 gradually increasing the information as they mature, but get it done and do it by age 10. These kids need to know!

Let them know the true facts of life before it is too late: STD's, HIV, AIDS, pregnancy, emotional trauma of sex too young in a non-committed relationship, preferably in marriage but at the very least a long-term committed relationship, birth control, barrier protection, and the only fool-proof method of abstinance. Give them the facts people or your lives may take a change you were never expecting. Just like this little girl's did.

Posted in Off on a Tangent | 31 Comments »

31 Responses to “This is My Rant”

carol Says:
April 4th, 2007 at 02:15 pm

Well you just rocked me back on my heels!! Oww is this child's life ruined or what?
Ima saver Says:
April 4th, 2007 at 02:43 pm

That is just terrible!!
yummy64 Says:
April 4th, 2007 at 02:44 pm

That is just sad. I just hope it was kids having fun rather than sexual abuse from a family member or other adult.
daylily Says:
April 4th, 2007 at 03:02 pm

Wow.... just Wow.
nance Says:
April 4th, 2007 at 03:33 pm

I saw an article in the paper, today, about two eleven year old fifth graders who had sex in a school classroom with twelve and thirteen year old boys, while another 12 year old stood guard to make sure no one caught them.
Imagine a fifth grader being pregnant. Wow, times have changed.

As a child protection caseworker, we had a case of a 12 year old, who gave birth, and her own father was the baby's father. Talk about ruined lives....
homebody Says:
April 4th, 2007 at 03:53 pm

Yeah I think 12 year old get pregnant more than you all think, 13 year olds too and then there are the 14, 15, 16 and 17 year olds who all know how you get pregnant. This girl probably knew how pregnancy happens but was in the same denial that most teenagers are and I myself was until one of my closest friends ended up pregnant fall of our senior year.

Not to play "devil's advocate", but it's easy to blame parents when they may have done the best they could and maybe they did talk to her about sex. There is more to sex education today than telling kids where babies come from and birth control and maybe that is what the parents thought was offensive.

For the record, I declined to have my youngest daughter in public school sex ed and she managed to not get pregnant. My two older daughters did participate in sex ed, but they are 28 and 26. By the time YD was at that age the curriculum had changed, but then I do live in California.....
LuckyRobin Says:
April 4th, 2007 at 04:25 pm

No, I know her parents, they are friends of mine, and they did not talk to her about sex because they thought she was too young to know. It was something we always disagreed on but I never pushed it because after all, she wasn't my child, even though she's at my house half the time. I don't care whether or not kids have sex ed in school, but they must have it at home. Today's world is just too different from when I was a kid, and even then there were pregnancies.

There were three pregnancies in my high school that came to term that I know of when I was a kid, and they were all girls under 16 when they got pregnant and 2 girls that I know of that had abortions.

I'm heavy on the abstinance side of things, but I still give my daughter all the information she needs to protect herself. Rose looks 13 even though she's only 10.5 and she has been hit on by boys as old as 16 while we were out as a family. She started getting hit on by boys 14 or 15 when she was 8. She has the information to protect herself, as well as a senior brown belt in tae kwon do to protect herself. Knowledge is power, but martial arts don't hurt.
LuckyRobin Says:
April 4th, 2007 at 04:28 pm

Yummy--Nope, it wasn't sexual abuse. She had a fifteen year old "boyfriend" who also lives in the neighborhood. His parents are furious but he insists on standing by her. Her parents are still in shock.
LuckyRobin Says:
April 4th, 2007 at 04:31 pm

Oh, Nance, that is horrible. Both things. I can't believe there were any unoccupied unlocked rooms at the school. Our teachers have to lock all doors when leaving a room empty. It makes me sick when I hear about father's raping their daughters and getting them pregnant.
catlinye_maker Says:
April 4th, 2007 at 05:09 pm

Re the news article. From what I read this wasn't an unused room but a class where the teacher had stepped away for 15 minutes. Apparently it came to light when one of the other students who had been in the room told an older student.
homebody Says:
April 4th, 2007 at 09:45 pm

But for the grace of God go any of us, whether we talk to our daughters or sons or not. I'm not saying it's not a tragedy, it is for all involved, I just don't think any of us are safe and you are kidding yourselves if you think you are because you talk to your kids. Sorry, but just knowing about sex and the consequences does not prevent teenage pregnancy or the pregancy/abortion rate would be way lower in teenagers and young adults than it is. I really don't mean to sound like a bi***, I have just raised three daughters who had a lot of friends and am speaking from my own experience/life paradigm.
LuckyRobin Says:
April 4th, 2007 at 10:02 pm

Homebody--I didn't say having the information keeps the kids from having sex or getting pregnant, I said they need the information. It is one of many tools I feel it is necessary to give our children to at least try to keep them safe. Hiding from "the talk" is not a good idea. Letting kids know how their bodies work and why gives them one more piece of knowledge to use to make better calls in judgement. Some kids will still make bad judgement calls, because they are kids, after all. But some won't.

And you don't sound like a bi***. You sound like a MOM with a different opinion.
Elly Says:
April 5th, 2007 at 05:15 am

How sad. Babies having babies.
Broken Arrow Says:
April 5th, 2007 at 05:56 am

A 12 year old?! That's insane!

Hope the poor soon-to-be mom is OK.
monkeymama Says:
April 5th, 2007 at 06:32 am

Oh, that is terrible. I hear you. I know too many people who were wild as kids who are now burying their heads in the sand and locking their kids in the house assuming they will never get into any kind of trouble. That if they don't know about sex it won't happen. With girls being able to get pregnant at 9 and 10 they have to have some knowledge to protect themselves.

Just wow!
homebody Says:
April 5th, 2007 at 07:55 am

Oh good, I'm glad I don't sound like a bi*** cause I'm really not, and I really don't disagree that the parents should have talked to her. But with a 15 year old "boyfriend", it could have happened anyway.

Monkeymama, this is where I also have a different experience. I found it was the parents who DIDN'T do anything when they were young had the kids who were the wildest because they had no limits set, and could lie, lie, lie and their parents believed them.
PauletteGoddard Says:
April 5th, 2007 at 11:39 am

On the bright side, seeing a pregnant preteen in the school hallways is a much more memorable lesson about sex education than getting pamphlets and learning anatomical terms in a classroom setting. My spouse was scared into using protection thanks to seeing a pregnant 14-year-old at school.

If they're old enough to bleed, they're old enough to breed.
debtfreeme Says:
April 5th, 2007 at 12:20 pm

i am just shocked, shocked!
kashi Says:
April 5th, 2007 at 12:55 pm

Wow. That is sad, on so many levels. Is she actually going to have the child?
LuckyRobin Says:
April 5th, 2007 at 06:35 pm

Yes, she is going to have the baby. She and the boy plan to give the baby up for adoption, though.
paulettegoddard Says:
April 6th, 2007 at 07:35 am

That's so sad. Her body's not even fully mature. Doesn't that lead to higher health risks for her? How are her inner organs going to find their way back after labour? They don't even have permanent addresses. What about the power of her not yet fully grown lungs to keep her breathing during extended labour?

And the curse of being a pregnant minor with ignorant parents: what if she gets pre-eclampsia or some health problem?
financier76 Says:
April 7th, 2007 at 06:59 pm

Unbelievable. I have two daughters. One is 11, the other turned 4 today. I can't even imagine how the parents must feel. What a horrible ordeal for everyone involved.
Snoopy2645 Says:
April 11th, 2007 at 09:22 pm

wow too close to home here I have a daughter the same age, but yes I know it happens I went to school with kids pg at the same very very young age of 12 it ended up being a hard life for them
LuckyRobin Says:
April 14th, 2007 at 02:09 am

Just an update on the little girl. She had an ultrasound this week when she had severe pain. Her pregnancy was ectopic (or tubal) and they had to abort it as there was no chance for the baby to survive. She lost one of her fallopian tubes as well, as it burst when the embryo got too big. Everyone has such mixed feelings about it. Saying it was a blessing in disguise. I don't know how anyone can ever consider something so awful to be a blessing, and say it to her face, even if it means her life is no longer upside down. Yes, she won't have to live with having a baby so young, but she still has to live with losing one. No matter how fortuitous for some people in her life, they should just hold their tongues and offer comfort.

And no, her parents are not the ones being awful this time. Too darn many people knew what was going on because they felt no need to hide it once the decision had been made to keep the baby. Now everyone feels they have a right to weigh in with their opinion. I kept my opinions to myself and told her that if she ever just wanted to talk about her feelings to someone who had lost a baby to come see me. I wouldn't judge her, I'd just listen. Her expression told me I had at least said the right thing. I wish more people had.
carol Says:
April 14th, 2007 at 02:33 pm

Thank you for the update. Poor kid what an awful thing to happen to her on top of what has already happened.

It makes my blood boil when I hear people start to say such self righteous comments. A simple "I'm so sorry" would have been fine. Why can't people engage brain before mouth leaves me shaking my head in shock.
homebody Says:
April 14th, 2007 at 06:55 pm

Oh golly, good lesson to remind us all.
nance Says:
April 15th, 2007 at 05:39 am

The poor child. She will never be the same. So much emotion for one so young to have to handle. Just reinforces that 12 is way too young to have a boyfriend, especially one who is fifteen.
Ima saver Says:
April 15th, 2007 at 12:34 pm

I am so sorry.
kashi Says:
April 20th, 2007 at 09:53 am

Oh wow...that is so sad. Too young to be pregnant, too young to lose a child, too young to lose a fallopian tube. I hope she is getting counseling. You are a good "aunt", LR.
DeniseNTexas Says:
April 22nd, 2007 at 09:45 am

My prayers are with that young girl and her family.
That's really just too much for a child that age to bear well, I think.

I talked to both my sons well before they needed the information but I didn't want them to hear half truths and downright lies from peers so I made sure they were educated. Some of it was pretty uncomfortable for us all but we survived. They're now 23 and 22 and to the best of my knowledge have never gotten a girl pregnant or had an STD. They both came to me and told me after they had sex the first time! No, there were no details - they just wanted to let me in on it, I guess. I remember being somewhat surprised they told me and somewhat puzzled, too. lol
LuckyRobin Says:
April 22nd, 2007 at 07:01 pm

I updated this situation in my 4/15/07 posting entitled Just an Ordinary Day--That's Irony, in case anyone missed it.

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This is My Rant

31 Responses to “This is My Rant”

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