I live, write, and garden in the PNW with my husband of 27 years, disabled daughter, college-aged son, and my 84-year-old mother. We have paid off $250,000.00 worth of debt (if you include the interest) in the last fifteen years and as of 6/12/2020 are 100% DEBT FREE!!!!I don't think I'm obsessively worrying about whether or not DH will get this new job with his current company during the day but at night time it seems to be the only thing on my mind.
There is nothing wrong with his current job, it pays well enough to get us by. Maybe it is just that I am so tired of "just" getting by. And that this other job is such a large step up the pay scale.
I want breathing room. More than breathing room, really. I want to be able to buy a new car and not have to keep babying along the '92 and the '96. I feel like I just keep throwing good money after bad with those money pits. Its getting close to the point of not having much choice and if I can only keep one of them going until April when we get back our tax return we should have enough to get something better than what we have.
With the new job though, we would be able to get something really good. Something that isn't too old and gets excellent gas mileage and is reliable enough so we can go back to just having one car again. Maybe even a brand new car. I've never owned a brand new car. I'm not sure if I ever will, but I want to be able to have it as a choice that I could buy one.
So we are saving for it. That is what our long-term savings is planned for. That is what I so obssessively add money to and update on my blog each time I do. And then...I see other people doing stupid things that they shouldn't be doing and getting yet another vehicle they can't really afford. When they didn't need it. They just wanted it.
Other people being SIL and BIL. Again. I have deep running issues with the way SIL and BIL are about money. Mostly because they don't have it but still spend it like the do have it and this is after claiming bankruptcy 5 years ago. No, this actually goes back further than this. But I don't suppose I'll get into it tonight. Much.
Its just hard to watch people get handed things over and over and over again. And we are doing everything we can to sacrifice right now so we can get what we need and pay the hospital debt we owe. A debt we couldn't help. Not a debt we could help or a debt we walked away from. Sometimes I wish we had, but I don't think I was raised to believe it was an option.
There are so many issues that darn new truck of theirs brings up with me. I hate feeling like this. I feel petty and childish and surly. I know their lives have not been a cakewalk but it has been charmed at times beyond their fair share, you know? Stupid, jealous green-eyed monster has ahold of me.
My daughter is forever saying "Life isn't fair!" To which I reply, "Whoever said it was supposed to be?" Dang it, I wish it was supposed to be.
Did I mention that SIL and BIL have digital cable and digital internet? Okay, stop it. You are not a Jones. Quit trying to covet like one!
We'll get there. I know we will. Eventually. But that new job would really, really help. It would improve my attitude markedly as well. I like being positive. So negativity begone. Thanks for the rant.
Things on my Mind
August 14th, 2006 at 09:19 am
August 14th, 2006 at 11:10 am 1155553819
I call it the "dunya"! The dunya is everything in this world that we strive and work for!! Money, cars, clothes, cable...
Whats the point.. soon we'll be dead.. and wondering why the hell did we work so hard for something thats going to slip out of our hands anway..
If you ask any old person.. they will tell you how quickly time goes by... How quickly retirement comes! And how they wished they hadn't spent on cable television, nice cars ectr..
so keep up the good work sweetie.. The dunya is only a passing luxury.. and it will soon goo....
August 14th, 2006 at 02:20 pm 1155565243
Look at it this way, they are probably staying awake at night wondering how they are going to make the next truck payment!
Enjoy the kids, enjoy life, it goes by wayyy to quick!
August 14th, 2006 at 03:37 pm 1155569838
August 15th, 2006 at 04:36 am 1155616616
In addition, is there the feeling that if they truly do crash and burn, do they think that family money going to come in and bail them out? That can't help your thoughts on this.
Something else that should cheer you up in a weird sort of way.
http://tinyurl.com/j3me9
August 15th, 2006 at 08:41 am 1155631300
Hang in there - it will be worth it