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Trying not to Stress

June 17th, 2016 at 11:49 pm

I am trying really hard not to be stressed out, but it isn't really working. I am grinding my teeth so hard while I am sleeping that I am starting to wear a spot down on my mouth guard and the right side of my jaw hurts really bad from it.

I've also noticed my anxiety is going up. I'm doing things I usually only do during a high state of stress, like picking at my cuticles until they bleed or my OCD stuff getting a little out of control, where instead of having to do things twice it is more like doing it six or eight times (never an odd number, because my OCD is linked to doing things in pairs). So far it is mostly confined to checking my alarm clock or that all the doors are locked or windows are shut over and over, but I can feel it starting to shift into other things. Not good.

So far I am not stress eating at all. I think the phentermine is really helping with that. And I am losing weight, so the stress is not affecting that. I was sick for about five days (stomach bug, fever, dizziness), so I haven't been to the pool in over a week. I am mostly better, but still dizzy and dizzy and water don't mix. The exercise usually helps keep the OCD down (although I do have to swim an even number of laps on swimming days). I hope to get to the pool this weekend, though.

I did walk the mall today. My foot was regretting it afterwards, but not my knee or hip, which is progress. I did one lap of the mall, which is only 1/4 mile, but that's a lot further than usual. The only other time I usually walk that much is in doing a lap of Costco and that's a lot slower than this was. I have been walking a bit. Usually only one to two blocks, but I am trying to build up that strength in my knee again. Some days are good, some are bad, but I haven't needed the cane in about a month. The bad leg is why I do so much in the pool instead, but I miss walking.

The garden is producing really well. Right now I am getting broccoli, scallions, lettuce, kale, sorrel, herbs, and the snap peas are just starting. I've gotten 10 so far, but tomorrow or the next day there should be a lot more, maybe even enough to blanch and freeze. We still have some strawberries and I am now getting raspberries, blueberries, and blackberries. Not enough to freeze yet, but enough for daily fresh eating. I've got a new batch of radishes at the two week mark and I want to get some more kohlrabi in the ground. My garlic is just about ready to pull.

I am trying not to spend things, but DH left his phone in Alaska, and since he is job hunting he can't be without a phone and it needs to be the number on his resumes, so he ended up getting a new phone. I mean, his old phone is five or six years old, so it's not like he wasn't due one, but I didn't want to sign a new contract in case he is out of work for a while and we need to drop down to one phone. He did get a dumb phone, not a smart phone, so it wasn't too expensive, but it was still $130 we wouldn't have needed to spend if he'd not left it behind.

I am trying not to be frustrated with him, but the time before that he left his driver's license and credit card at work, so he had to get a new license, because he was having to drive his parents to Seattle and back for follow up cancer stuff. It wasn't a case where he could just not drive for the ten days he was home. Fortunately he has a passport, so he could fly home. But it's just carelessness leading to having to spend money and it drives me crazy.

Also he keeps wanting to make all these little purchases like things are normal. I mean, I know he gets it, he's the one who will be out of a job soon, but at the same time he isn't changing his habits and he's being forgetful to the detriment of our budget. These things add up and suddenly there is $300 to $400 worth of stuff the last two months that shouldn't have needed to be gotten. I am really having to fight with myself to not make retaliation purchases, because that way lies madness and credit card debt. But I want to, and I haven't wanted to in a long, long time, so I hate that it is coming up.

I really hope he gets a job offer soon. This stuff is making me far too anxious.

10 Responses to “Trying not to Stress”

  1. Carol Says:

    It is possible that your husband's forgetfulness is a sign of his stress. That is what happens to me when I am in high stress-- locking myself out and other stupid things. Hope things calm down for all of you asap.

  2. CB in the City Says:

    You are smart to fight retaliation spending -- I have known couples who have gotten into big, big trouble just for that reason.

  3. Joan.of.the.Arch Says:

    Whew, that's a lot to deal with. I'm impressed you could go walking with your joint ailments. This is just a stab in the dark, but I was given sunflower seeds for dizziness by a Chinese friend. Supposedly it can be a nutritional thing and sunflowers seeds are a traditional remedy. If you try it, though, just be alert that there are some packaged sunflower seeds on recall for lysteria or some such.

  4. creditcardfree Says:

    Hang in there! Do what you know works for your stress. Back to basics so to speak. This all will pass. You have also made it sounds like your husband is employable somewhere.

  5. LuckyRobin Says:

    Carol--It is possible, but he is just a forgetful person. Usually it isn't stuff that costs us money, though. He's misplaced his keys already and he's only been home 2 days. Although to be fair, I misplaced a book yesterday, so it's not like I don't do it, too.

  6. LuckyRobin Says:

    CB--Yes, it is very counterproductive.

  7. LuckyRobin Says:

    Joan--It is, but I feel a lot better after having vented. I'll add some sunflower seeds to my salads for a few days. We always buy in bulk at the health food section of the store. I think the dizziness was from the virus, though. It seems to have passed unless I stand up to fast.

  8. LuckyRobin Says:

    CCF--Thank you for the support. I think we will probably be fine. I Just really needed to get my frustrations out before I did something stupid in response.

  9. Frugaltexan75 Says:

    Venting here is a good healthy way to deal with the stress.

  10. rob62521 Says:

    Sorry about the stress. Hope you can find some peace and calm.

    Glad your garden is doing well.

    You are smart about not spending if you don't have to. If things work out, then you can get the things you want and if not, then you aren't sorry you bought stuff.

    Glad you are making progress and could walk a bit.

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