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FIL is Gone

November 5th, 2017 at 09:03 am

My father-in-law died about half an hour ago. My husband has been with him all day, except to come home, shove in a sandwich, and go back. Then at nine p.m. he came and got us and the kids and I stayed until nearly midnight. DH stayed with his Mom and sister and aunt (FIL's sister) and his eldest grandchild. It was peaceful. He never woke up while we were there.

We told him he could go, that everything was taken care of, that MIL would be looked after. I got a moment to kiss him on the forehead and tell him I loved him. DH and MIL are holding up pretty well. SIL and niece not so much. My son is doing pretty good, feels a sense of relief and a lot of sadness. My daughter is having a harder time and hiding in the shower so she can fall apart in private.

I've been crying off and on for days now, but tonight was so hard. I was lucky enough to be blessed with in-laws who love me like a daughter. And a father-in-law who made my own father's passing easier, because I still had someone to play that role in my life who felt like a dad to me.

We all feel like DH was laid off for this reason. So he could be home to spend time with his dad the last few weeks of his life and to be there for his mother. Just like the last time we felt like it was so he could be here to drive them to the cancer facility in Seattle and pick up the slack around their house, chores, grocery shopping, all of that.

He has been there when he needed to be there and it has made a world of difference to him and to his family. The worst is yet to come, though. He'll hold it in for a while and then he'll collapse with the grief for a while and then he'll move stoically forward because that is what he does. And I'll be there for him every step of the way. Because that is what I do.

26 Responses to “FIL is Gone”

  1. Amber Says:

    Aw LR I am truly sorry, I'll be praying for you and your family .

  2. NJDebbie Says:

    ((HUGS)) to all of you as your mourn for him. I will be thinking of you during this very difficult time in your lives.

  3. PatientSaver Says:

    All we can do in this world is love and be loved. And part of loving others is taking care of them in their hour of need. I agree...while no one wants to lose a parent, it's a blessing your husband was able to spend the time with them and say his goodbyes.I'm very sorry for your loss. It's a great one.

  4. creditcardfree Says:

    ((Hugs)) so sorry for your loss. It is beautiful the love you feel for your family. And lots of crying is to be expected. May you find peace in the good memories while you grieve.

  5. CB in the City Says:

    I am so sorry, but happy for you that his end was peaceful.

  6. TurtleLover Says:

    ((hugs and prayers)) for you and your family.

  7. MonkeyMama Says:

    I am so sorry for your loss. ((Hugs)) to your family.

  8. Bluebird Says:

    I'm so very sorry. Saying prayers for you all {{hugs}}

  9. snafu Says:

    {{{Hugs}}} ending condolences, it is so painful to lose a much loved FIL, who was loved as father. You're all in our thoughts and prayers during this difficult time.

  10. snafu Says:

    {{{Hugs}}} Sending condolences, it is so painful to lose a much loved FIL, who was loved as father. You're all in our thoughts and prayers during this difficult time.

  11. LivingAlmostLarge Says:

    I am so sorry for your family's loss. Hugs and prayers are being sent your way. Peace be with you and yours.

  12. Dido Says:

    I am so sorry for your family's loss, but glad DH was able to be with him so much at the end. Hugs.

  13. Laura S. Says:

    I am sorry for you and your family's loss. You are in my thoughts.

  14. rob62521 Says:

    I am very sorry. It isn't easy to lose a parent or an in-law that was like a parent. Prayers for you and the family.

  15. My English Castle Says:

    I'm so sorry for your loss, and echo others' words that it was so good your husband could be there.

  16. Kymberlee Fisher Says:



    My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this very sad time.

  17. crazyliblady Says:

    My thoughts are with you and your family. It is not easy to lose someone, especially a parent. I am glad your husband was able to be with him in his last moments. {HUGS}

  18. Thrifty Ray Says:

    {{hugs}} My thoughts are with you and your family during this difficult time.

  19. FrugalTexan75 Says:

    So sorry for your loss LR Frown

  20. Myfinancekits Says:

    May God strengthen you and your family.

  21. disneysteve Says:

    Very sorry for your loss.

  22. ceejay74 Says:

    So sorry for your loss, but glad to hear you and your husband were able to say goodbye and be together when it happened.

  23. terri77 Says:

    I'm so sorry for your loss.

  24. Tabs Says:

    I am very sorry to hear this. Please take care.

  25. scfr Says:

    So sorry to hear about your family's loss.

  26. LuckyRobin Says:

    Thank you, everyone. I appreciate all your kind words and prayers so much.

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