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Misery

August 26th, 2017 at 09:00 pm

I haven't posted much this month because truthfully everything sucks and I am so tired of things being so negative every time I do post. I am weepy all the time lately and I am not a weepy person. I feel like we're never going to get out of this situation where bad things happen one after the other after the other and we are given no time whatsoever to get our heads above water and breathe. I feel like I'm drowning and what's worse, I have no desire to keep fighting the current.

This month alone has just shattered me. First Gina dies, then we have to rehome George. Then we find out the news about FIL having six months to live because of the cancer spreading so aggressively. Then we get a visit by the humane society because someone called in an anonymous report about the living conditions of our rabbits. Nobody knows about our rabbits outside of family and two girls that used to be friends with my daughter but have been cyberbullying her for about two years now.

It came to nothing, because the woman who came back to see them said she'd never seen rabbits in such good condition. Everyone had food, water, bedding, and one fan per cage (rabbits don't do well in heat above 75 degrees) in an indoor shed.

Then she asked about our turkeys and I said we didn't have any turkeys, they were long gone. She said the person who called in specifically mentioned the turkeys, so they had no clue that we no longer had turkeys. Everyone who lives around us knew the turkeys were gone.

I asked who had called it in and she said the woman requested to be anonymous. I asked if it was a neighbor and she said no. Then I told her about the girls that have been harassing my daughter (one's a vegan but the militant kind) and she said she'd be sure to note that in her report. Apparently this happens all the time with petty people calling stuff in to try to get people they don't like in trouble. I did later find some FB evidence of gloating so my suspicions are likely correct on who did it.

Then we had to put Kalia down. She broke something in her back when the Med-Evac buzzed too low over the houses again. This is the third or fourth rabbit we've lost because of that stupid helicopter not following the flight height rules when it takes off. It almost hit the neighbor's ham operator antennae a few days ago. The loud noise and the shaking of the building just panics them sometimes. Sometimes we can save them, but she had lost control over her bladder and bowels and it was clear it wasn't just a leg injury, but a back injury, too.

Kalia was a special rabbit to us. She was the first one we had to dropper feed and so we spent a lot of time with her and she was a particular favorite. That one devastated my husband, but that was coming on top of the news about his dad so it all played together.

My daughter had yet another ER visit this month just when we'd finally gotten the last ones paid for and thought we'd be able to relax again. At least $700 will go on her deductible then who knows?

DH had to get a crown and had to pay $650 up front. Then if that wasn't all enough, my c-pap machine quit working. It was 2 months before the five year mark when I could qualify for a new machine, but they were able to get the insurance to agree to get me a new machine now. But it is a $600 machine and I still have $480 left on the deductible so I'll have to pay that up front as well. I can't go without one though. Right now I am using a loaner, but will get the new machine on Monday.

We still don't know whether or not DH will have a job after October and if he doesn't I don't think he will qualify for unemployment only having worked six months since he used up all his benefits. I don't know if my sanity can take another lay-off. I really don't.

I feel like everything is out to get us. I don't know how we are going to get through all this crap. If we had debt right now I think I'd have totally lost it. As it is, I'm ready to just give up, crawl into a hole, and never come out again. How do I fight that when nothing is going right? How do I force myself to stay on top of it all when I just don't care anymore to try?

I've lost my motivation. I guess I just need some encouragement right now.

16 Responses to “Misery”

  1. Laura Says:

    That sucks. All of it. And I don't know why people are mean and vicious with false reports. Awful.

    I've stopped posting too. Just when I think it's going better we get whammied with $800 hot water heaters or a delay with FAFSA for my daughter in college.

    Hope it gets better.

  2. CB in the City Says:

    Everyone goes through bad times, and you are getting a boatload of bad times right now. It's nothing you've done, you've just had a lot of bad luck. I have been through times like this, too. This is what I learned. Try not to look at the big picture. Meet each challenge with your best effort and then let it go. All you have to do in life is do your best. If you are satisfied each day that you have done your best, then you can give thanks for the lesson, and appreciate what is still good. Have faith that good things will happen, too. Just as bad luck can come in bunches, good luck can, too. Don't let your heart be sad. You will turn that corner.

    Know that we all love you here, Lucky Robin.

  3. PatientSaver Says:

    I'm so sorry you're feeling so down. We all have these tough times, at some time or another. Things WILL get better.

    I have a similar problem here with helicopters flying so low they cause my windows to rattle. If you know which airport they're flying from, you can call there and lodge a complaint. There may be even be a special phone line for complaints. There is one for Westchester County Airport, for instance.

    About the unemployment, your husband could very well qualify. Did you read my post about the same matter? I worked just 5 weeks on a contract job in May/June and that qualified me for another 6 months of benefits. I truly was surprised.

  4. Petunia 100 Says:

    {{{{hugs}}}}

    You've certainly had more than your fair share of rotten luck lately. I'm sorry. I hope things will turn around for you and yours soon.

  5. creditcardfree Says:

    What is going right? Focus on what is going well, what you can do that is positive. It is difficult when things seem overwhelmingly negative. But changing your mindset is most important. The belief that things will turn around is one way to look at it. Things can't be awful forever.

    And sorry to hear your daughter was in the ER!

  6. snafu Says:

    I'm glad you posted and hope you'll continue to let your friends offer concern and support. I know life can go awry and there is nothing you can do to stop the problems from adding up. This very second I'm grateful you're not in the path of Hurricane Harvey and the flooding yet to come to Texas.

    It's very difficult to let go of other, older issues to cope with the new problems as they arise but there is nothing that will change for Gina, George, Kalia; SPCA representative confirms your great care. Prayers for your family, so sad illness has overtaken FIL. DH's situation will play out, you will meet it with your best effort...because that is what you do. This is a safe place to express your frustration, how can we help?

  7. My English Castle Says:

    Wishing you all the best, Robin, with prayers for your family. Sometimes it's just one day at a time.

  8. FrugalTexan75 Says:

    {{{hugs}}}

  9. NJDebbie Says:

    ((Hugs)) to you LuckyRobin. Please know you will be in my prayers.

  10. Bluebird Says:

    LR, I'm so very sorry. You're dealing with a lot of things right now. It will get better. Please keep posting, we'll give you all the encouragement you need!!! {{{hugs}}}

  11. ThriftoRama Says:

    My heart is with you. Hugs and prayers and magic, and karma and all that heading your way, praying the chronic stress comes to a peaceful resolution.

    Gosh, it sure is galling about the bullying and that spilling over into real government complaints. I cannot even believe the lengths some people go to just to cause trouble and be cruel to others.

  12. rob62521 Says:

    Sometimes the burden feels a little lighter when you can share it. I'm glad you did post. We all have times when we are feeling petty low and I think this community is good about encouraging each other.

    My heart is going out to you. You have had some tough times. Hopefully things will look up. As far as the visit, it is really a validation that you are doing what is right for your rabbits -- that is a good thing. As far as the turkeys, well, the fact you no longer have them should have told the person investigating how malicious the person or persons is/are and how unfounded. You are the champion of this little incident. I'm sorry they are bullying your family.

    Prayers for you and your family.

  13. VS_ozgirl Says:

    My thoughts are with you that some good things come your way. For the moment keep focus on whatever is going right so that you have the mental capacity to deal with whatever is going wrong... wishing for some sunshine to come your way.

  14. ceejay74 Says:

    Man, that is a lot to take all at once. Wishing you the strength to pull through somehow and come out on the other side to easier, happier times.

  15. LuckyRobin Says:

    Thank you, everyone. Your support means a lot to me.

  16. LivingAlmostLarge Says:

    Thoughts and prayers for you and your family.

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